INSTABILITY | M.C | COMPLETE

001

  They say that life gets better.

They tell you this over and over again. They mask depression as a normal stage in the adolescent life.

"It happens to everybody."

Not like this. Does it?

Of course not. Another night. He spent completely alone. His dull eyes stared at the ceiling and his heart thumped loudly inside his chest.

2:03

He still couldn't sleep. He had stopped crying some months ago.
Not because he felt any less alone. Or even any less agony. But he was tired.

He knew now. He was sure that crying would get him absolutely nowhere. It didn't keep his body from quivering. It didn't stop the burning sensation inside of him. Nothing did.

The foul darkness just wouldn't go away. And he didn't know how to make it stop.

3:17

He sighed and he reached for his headphones on his nightstand. And blared the music. Until he couldn't feel a fucking thing.

~

"Hey Michael!" Michael closed his locker door to find the blond girl smiling at him. He wasn't startled or surprised. It was usual for chirpy Avery to say good morning or hello almost every day. He gave her a half smile and clutched his books in his hands.
He was never much of a talker. Before she had time to push an actual response from him, the bell rung. Stating that hell had officially started.

Michael nodded out of courtesy and turned around. When he heard the overly happy girl exclaim
"You'll open up to me soon enough Michael, you'll see!"He tried to hide a subtle grin that threatened to appear on his face without permission.

One would think that since he is very isolated and never out in the spotlight, people wouldn't notice he exists. Wrong.

He only wishes nobody knew he existed. To be invisible. Not people wanting him to reveal his secrets. No intruders faking to care. It would be so much easier.

~

"How was school, Michael?" Dr. Robins studied him intensely. But of course, it was his job. Michael tried not to look at his therapist too often. In case he lied. Which was a lot. He was in his mid 30's. Not an old man.

"School is good. Thanks for asking." Michael looked down to play with his hand. Some habit he had obtained over the years.

"Michael, are you made fun of in school?" Dr. Robins was tired. He wanted to find a cause. A reason. But didn't want to push him too hard.

"No, no. That- that's not it. The kids in school, they aren't like that. They all try to get along. Maybe they are tied together by being hypocrites and their secrets, but they don't pick on each other like that. They can't be assholes because everyone will hate them. And they care too much about what others think." That was a good thing.

For Michael at least. He was sure he would get to be the first one to get picked on if his school was like the ones in movies or books.

"Well, that's good Michael. For you, not them. I was worried for a second there. How has everything been at home?"

"Fine. I guess not too much going on. Since I told my parents how I felt they just took it in mind for like a week and then everything got a bit worse. The fighting, I mean. But it doesn't bother me like it used to. I got used to it"

"No one should be used to that." Dr. Robins shook his head while his hand moved the pen between his fingers. He saw the boy shrug.

"I did. It's not so hard. When you've been living with something your whole life, there's nothing you can do but get familiar with the situation."
After many sessions, Michael managed to open up to Dr. Robins.

Although it did take some work.

"Have you had any more nightmares about... that night?"

That night.

The night everything started.

Michael felt his heart almost stop and his whole body became rigid.
He stared at the ground and his willingness to keep talking closed. This happened every time.

Dr. Robins saw that. He was not surprised. Though he was frustrated.

"Michael, that's something we also need to talk about. It might've been some time ago. But it doesn't take away importance in the slightest." Michael stared at him for a few seconds and got up to leave.
"Michael, stop." The boy stopped while grabbing the door handle.
Gripping it tightly in his hand.
His hands had begun to shake. "You need to tell me what happened that night Michael. To someone that's not the police. It's not healthy to keep this inside you for so long."

By now rage started to build up inside him. Dr. Robins saw it. His posture change. But this was the only way. The only way to make him talk sooner or later

"Just tell me what happened. And it will all be alright."

"It's going to be alright. We're going to be fine." She had started crying silently.

Terrified.

Michael was terrified too.

"Mikey, I'm scared." She whimpered. And Michael took his hand to her head and slowly bought it down her long dark hair. She clutched onto him. And stained his shirt with tears.

"Don't be. I'll protect you. I promise."

But he didn't. And that broke her.

"I don't have to tell you anything." Those were the last words Michael spoke to Dr. Robins before leaving his office.

He closed the door loudly and it vibrated through the walls. The receptionist, Mary, looked up at him through her glasses. Surprised since Michael had never been a violent patient. Michael only gave her a fast look before leaving the place completely. Not ever wanting to look back. 

HEY SO THIS IS *OBVIOUSLY* A NEW STORY. I HOPE YOU ENJOY IT. THE FIRST FEW CHAPTERS ARE GONNA BE A LITTLE BORING. SINCE ITS GETTING TO THE POINT. JUST, BEAR WITH ME?

MY FRIEND AIDYN  HELPED ME PROOFREAD THIS!! AND SHE'LL PROBABLY HELP ME WITH MORE!! SHE'S AN AWESOME GIRL AND SHE'S SO SUPPORTIVE.

VOTE AND COMMENT IF YOU LIKED IT.

and idk, comment if you didn't and tell me why???? 

Goodbye!