my life as Aubrey (currently being edited)

chapter 32

well here it is guys!

Chapter 32-Graduation

I’m sitting on my bed supposed to be getting ready for graduation but I can’t stop staring at the letter my father wrote me. I forgot all about it and when I got out of the shower I went to grab clothes and found it. I’ve been staring at it since. I took a deep breath, closed my eyes and tore it open. I slowly open my eyes and unfolded the letter, it said:

Dear Aubrey

                I know I have no right to write to you but being here, in jail, there’s lots of time to think. To think of your mistakes, of your past and in those thoughts are a lot of you. I know I made a lot of mistakes and I also know I can’t take them back but I wish I could. I wish somehow the doctors caught the problem in time to save your little brother, I wish I handle his death a lot better than I had. I wish that your mother wasn’t addicted to drugs so she could have been there to stop all the times that I have hurt you and caused you pain.

                I know I don’t deserve your forgiveness and it would be wrong of me to ask for it. I was just thinking about the last thing you said to me, that you deserve to know why? What I told you is only half the truth. The onther half is that I don’t know. Maybe it was the fact that I had no control over losing the baby or that I had no control over anything anymore. But hurting you, I had control over that. Sometimes I even wished that you would get up and fight back. Not emotionally but actually physically fight me back. But you didn’t and somehow that made you stronger than me.

                So in some way I am saying thank you, Aubrey. For finally putting me where I belong and fighting back. I wish things could have been different. My biggest wish though is for you to grow and live a fulfilling life and to have a happy home for you and your kids.

                                                                                                Love, Dad.

I didn’t realize I was crying until a tear dripped and landed on the paper, blurring one of the words. I folded the letter and stuck it back in the envelope and sighed. I have mix feeling about this whole thing. Part of me wants to hate him but the other is still saying he’s my father. He didn’t deserve what life threw at him but I didn’t deserve what he threw at me either. I sighed again and rubbed my forehead where a headache was beginning.

“Aubrey, are you almost ready?” I heard Jane call up the stairs.

I looked down at my towel wrapped body and groaned. “yeah.” I called back to her.

“Okay, hurry up.”

I got up and found the white sundress Jane bought me. I walked into the bathroom and pinned half of my hair up. I applied some mascara, looked at myself in the mirror one last time and left. I slipped on the white flip flops/heels at the stairs then descended them. I grabbed my robe out of the closet and went in search for everyone.

“Ready?” Jane asked when I found her.

“yep.” I told her.

We head out to the SUV where Landon and Mr. Carter are already waiting. When I climbed in the back beside Landon, he took my hand, entwining our fingers and gave me a smile. I returned it and looked out the window. I guess you can say that graduating hasn’t really sunk in yet. I’ve been waiting for this day for a long, long time but now that the day has come I don’t need it anymore. I always wanted it to come so I could escape but now I am but for whole different reason. And he is sitting next to me.

When we reach the school, me and Landon had to separate from Jane and Mr. Carter. We went to the library where were supposed to meet and sign in. when we reached it, everyone was there. They were hugging and crying and shouting. It was an ending but a new beginning.