Porcelain

Mission: Impossibly Reckless

When I had changed into my comfort clothes and washed my face, the man (whose name I still didn't know) sat me down in my room. Well, upstairs.

I lived in a 2-story house with enough bedrooms for...well, me. However, I preferred to sleep in the open space of my loft. I had my issues with isolation and although it wasn't exactly safe, I was comfortable. I had had the agency fix the bedrooms up for 'guests' if ever I had any (never), but I opted to sleep on the futon in the loft.

I was disarmed; physically, mentally, and emotionally. In the presence of this insanely attractive guy, I had deteriorated into a heaping mess of tears and stupidity. His words confused me and I didn't understand his kindness. And although Malala was relaxed around him, I was still wary.

I cleared my throat of phlegm and helplessness. (Gross.) "What's going on?" I asked. "Why are you here?"

He wasn't sarcastic, like I had expected him to be. Instead, he answered my questions seriously.

"I'm here because I need you to do something that will benefit you and me both."

"Which is?" I asked.

"I want you to kill my brother."

My eyes widened. Somewhere in the back of my mind, I did absorb that James was indeed this guy's brother, but I didn't understand the relation nor did I understand what James' brother was doing here.

"I'm no assassin, sorry." My voice was trembling, but I carried on with my sentence. "That's all James wanted me to be, but I don't want blood on my hands."

He shook his head. "I know your principles, Naniya."

"How? How do you know...anything about me?"

"James kept a remarkable file on you. Also, I've been keeping tabs on you for 2 years."

I shook my head, disregarding his creeper comment. "I don't even know who you are. I don't know if I can trust you."

"My name is Ryan.", he said.

"That doesn't tell me who you are."

He stared at me. "Fair point." He sat down on my study chair, and faced me. "James is my adopted brother. He took me in from off the streets and cleaned me up. Gave me and my sister a home."

At the word 'sister', my mind went several different places. And then I put a name to a face.

Paired with his earlier comment about my careless kill of his sister, I could finally see the resemblance. They had the same nose, same mouth. If he chose to smile, I might see the resemblance of twinkling eyes.

"Oh God. Angel." I said. I held my head in my hands. "She never...if I had known...even if I hadn't-"

"She didn't love James, I promise. I was closer to James than she was to him. James, though...he loved Angel. In a weird way. And I never knew if it was romantic love or just familial love...but he used her. Naniya. " I looked up. "Do not feel guilty. You saved her. You knew her, and you knew what she wanted, and you tried."

I had already conditioned myself to pretend I was okay, and so at this moment, I did just that. I nodded, moving along. "OK. So why are you here? And why have you not killed me yet or whatever? I mean, obviously, you've been trained."

He smirked, and I flushed. "Why would I kill you?"

"Because your brother hates me. Because he's targeted me for years. Because your sister died, and it's my fault. Because your family was torn apart, and that is all my fault."

"It's not your fault."

"But it is!" I cried. "It is! If I wasn't selfish, if I wasn't stubborn, if I wasn't...who I was, then she would be alive right now." I shuddered in my anger and my pain. Ryan leaned closer to me.

"If you weren't who you were, I would still not know what my brother was doing to those girls. Angel would have been alive, but always indebted to James. Never free. Angel gave her life for you. I expect that you live it to your fullest." He said this to me with so much fervor that I had to believe him.

I bit my lip. "Why are you here?"

He seemed to understand my unspoken question; after all, all this effort to find me would have been wasted if he was asking me to kill his brother, something he apparently knew I would not do.

"Look. I love James like family. But I loved Angel more. James, whether he intended to or not, pulled the trigger."

I shook my head, confused. "So, if you love him...?"

"James is not who he once was. I left him for that reason alone. He's not my brother anymore. He's a monster in a porcelain mask, and I don't know how to help him. You have to believe me."

I searched his eyes. Strangely enough, I did find it in my heart and head to trust him. But I didn't love the idea of killing my warden.

"Where is he?" I asked.

He blushed, for the first time, and I decided that he looked cuter. "I actually don't know. I used to, but I told you...I escaped."

"Why did you escape?"

He smiled dryly. "Got the idea from you. After I learned the truth, I wanted to stop my brother. Before I left, I had asked him to train me how to defend myself and all that. Trained me as well as he trained you. The difference was, I wasn't a prisoner. So, I left."

"No way." I murmured.

"I'm a great actor, Naniya."

I sighed. "So, to clarify, you don't hate me?"

He snorted. "On the contrary, I think I'm taking a liking to you."

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This story's going places, man. 

~Amira.