A New Bug-Bob Duncan and Mr.Moseby Fanfiction

gate-crashing

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*BOB'S POV*

My legs ached as I squatted against the butter mansion. 

Marion and I had decided to split up, Marion hiding on the east side of the mansion, myself on the north west side.

 The plan was for us to sneak into the butter mansion, find the butter stick, take it and run away and live happily ever after. 

We both hide beside windows, so we could always have an eye on the butter bitch (and the donuts). When the guests start arriving for the party, the butter bitch will probably go and be occupied with them and when she's distracted I will give Marion the secret signal, a whistle through my ears, yes I can whistle through my ears, and we'll both sneak in. 

simple right? 

I glanced through the window and let out a groan. 

Damnit! butter bitch hurry tf up!

Marion and I had been waiting over 5 hours for the guests to arrive and with all my fat and these ugly sandals on, I was in pain.....and FUCKING STARVING!!1! 

I needed donuts...right now.

Through the window the butter bitch was putting the final touches on the decorations. Everything in the mansion was covered in yellow streamers and, of course, butter. 

FUCK I NEED DONUTS NOW!!!!

I  let out an exasperated sigh and laid out on the grass, slowly falling into a fucking deep, like yoda deep, slumber. 

*MARION'S POV*

I peered through my butter binoculars, don't ask, as the guests started arriving, the men wearing ugly old man clothes, the women smelling like butter.

I can't believe I wasn't invited to this party, fuckin butter bitch. I have on the best party outfit. 

Those whores get to grasp their dirty hands all over the delicious sweets, while I'm sitting out in the dark getting my weed tie dirty.  damn I need some vodka.

I continued searching the room when my eyes landed upon MY EX!!1!1 

that dr.phil gets invited to the party and I don't???? tf??  although he is rockin that butter weave. 

"I can't believe this.." 

butter bitch had all the greats there, betty white, will ferrell, tf is wrong with this bitch??

All of a sudden, a big bang stopped me from staring at dr.phil's see-through suit. 

BANG!

I turned my head, where did that sound come from?

I looked to the left, to the right, then to the north west when I that FUCKING BITCH SLUT AMY!!!!

tf is she doing here?? and why is she climbing through the bathroom window??? 

"HEY! YOU!" I yelled.

The scum turned around then quickly jumped through the window. 

I ran after her and, with my amazing skills, I jumped through the window, pulling her greasy weave before she could leave the bathroom. Still holding her, I turned on the lights and locked the door, tying her hands together with the butter-smelling tp. 

I got up all close in her face, " wtf are you doing here???" 

"I-I was invited to the party d-duh." 

fucking slut

"yeah right, I said WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING HERE???" 

I shook her like a madman. 

"okay, okay I wasn't invited, I was trying to gate-crash!" she sputtered out, spitting all over my WEED TIE!!!

"O MY PRNDL!!!! HOW DARE YOU SLUT!!!!" I picked her up, luckily I have lots of muscles so I can pick the fatass up, and throw her out the window, probably breaking her neck in the process. 

Once I got rid of the waste, I shut the window and unlocked the door. 

I looked in the mirror, "gate-crashing so bad of an idea." 

*    *    *

After a few minor changes to the face and scavenging through butter bitch's bathroom drawers, I quietly headed out of the bathroom and towards the DANCE FLOOR!! 

Might as well take advantage of getting into the party. 

I could almost feel the beat of the music when someone literally CRASHED INTO ME!!1!1 

"who tf do ya think ya are??? bloody london tipton???" 

I rubbed my arm. 

Getting up off the floor, I looked up to see who this slut was....

"SHREK?????"