Driven (BIGBANG)

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Chapter Four: Want

TOP's POV

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"How does this look on me?" I ask, twisting this way and that in the mirror of the stall to get a better look at my ass.

And people thought only girls did that. Then I blush slightly as I think that I am slightly girly. Dang, I have a pink bedroom, a slight obsession with how my backside looks, and need my make up perfect. I'm a chick.

I wouldn't mind so much if I was Daesung's chick.

I hide my face from him, just remembering that Daesung is in the stall with me.

"They look like all your other jeans." He says bluntly. He's trying on a thin white shirt, but I don't think he'll buy it cause it fits really tight. Bet it'll rip while he tries to take it off...

"What do you mean?" I ask, looking down at them. They're dark blue, and skinny jeans. Most of my pants aren't skinny jeans cause most skinny jeans don't fit...right.

"They're a dark color; and they fit tight around your--" he stops suddenly like he's choking on something.

I grin, automatically knowing what he's thinking. "Tight around my where?" I ask, smiling evilly.

He blushes and smiles a little. His face is adorable when he blushes. "You know what I mean, you butt."

"Oh, you mean my butt? Not 'you butt'?" I laugh as I tease his shyness of talking about the body. He's the only member who won't shower with anyone else in the group.

But then again, he's the only one I really want to shower with. He pushes me making my knock into the stall wall. I just keep laughing.

"Yaaah!" He cries out. "Stop messing with me, hyung." I stop laughing immediately. The way he says hyung to me is the only reason I do. He often does not call me hyung, just TOP - he met me as TOP. But he calls me hyung when he wants something.

"Sorry, I couldn't resist." I say softly. I don't want him to be actually upset at me. He goes to lift up his shirt, turned away from me and towards the mirror. I hear a slight tearing sound of the fabric loosening and he sighs.

I can tell he is giving me the silent treatment - but he won't be able to get that shirt off by himself. I lean against the wall, surveying him. I try to time when he's going to ask for my help. Any second now...

"Hyung," he says shyly in a voice that makes my knees want to buckle. I'd do anything for him when he speaks like that - does he know that? Is it really easy to tell? I need to stop. I need to distance, to breathe, to stop caring about him. But I don't move - like the past several years. And I know I won't move. Ever.

"Yeah?"

"Will you help me out of this shirt?" He pouts, still trying to pull free. He's obviously being more careful so he doesn't demolish the shirt.

I move over to him wordless and he stops wrestling with the shirt. I pull at the hem, nestled on his hips. I have to press my fingers up against his skin to get a hold of the shirt. Damn, Dae why would you even think about this shirt?!

I pull it up his torso, the outer of my fingers trailing up his skin the entire time. I finally get it over his shoulders, after he freaks out because I had to pull it over his armpits. He's crazy ticklish.

Dae picks up his phone and he gasps.

"What?" I ask, anxious.

"We need to leave - it's ten to four. We still need to get back, get ready and everything. I need to shower."

I understand but I want to prove a point. "Well, we wouldn't have to worry about time if you had just let me stay home."

Dae turns around to me, we're in each others breathing space. Suddenly I don't need breathing space because I can't breathe. Every pull in is a challenge - and now near impossible cause he has no shirt on. He wraps his arms around my neck; is this payback for what I did to him in the hallway.

He drags himself closer by his hips and I pray he can't feel the friction in these jeans. "Did you really want to stay home?" He questions softly, looking up at me with such a sad expression.

I swallow and think of the decision before me - be cold and withdraw or be truthful. My decision surprises even me.

"Of course I wanted to come, but it's mainly because I'd get time with you." My voice is sincere and I hope he hears the extra meaning hiding in my words; but I also hope he doesn't hear the extra meaning. I'm not sure what I want.

His breath pauses, causing mine to catch too. He just stares at me; his eyes mirroring mine, I bet. They were filled with questions. Just ask...ask what I want - want what I want. But do I really want that? Him to ask - to want me as painfully and intense as I do him?

I break away, sighing, "We should get back." He nods, turning away. Today was an unproductive day - we didn't even buy anything. I turn my back to his back and strip myself of the jeans. I bend easily to grab my jeans off the floor but I judged wrong how much space I had and I bumped Dae.

I reflexively turn around to apologize, my palms open in front of me. He turns to face me and then his face lights up like the sunset. He spins to show only his back to me. "It's cool." He mutters.

I turn around and put on my pants, more conscious of my space. Not that it really concerns me. I'm more focused on why his face was red. Was he upset at me? Was he embarrassed? Why would he be embarrassed?

I really want to know what goes on that boy's mind and I dwell on that as we leave.

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