Verge of Insanity

Chapter Two

Mara Leigh

As always, when I got home I was alone.

The calendar on the refrigerator told me the days this month that my parents would be home. Looked like I would get to spend two weekends with them. That's one more than last month. I was pretty sure that this counted as child neglect. Well, maybe not. They had always left me with enough money to get and do whatever I wanted.

The milk on my shirt had long since dried up and was now smelling putrid. My cheeks were still wet from the tears I'd shed on the way home. Both reminded me of my day, and somehow I had enough tears left for them to start falling again.

After I took a long, semi-relaxing shower and threw on pajamas, I grabbed a water out of the refrigerator and put my bag on the couch as I sat down in the living room. Sadly, this was my life. Go to school where I have no friends, have a bad day with no one to rant to, come home and be alone, eat alone, go to bed and wake up alone.

I took my English homework out of my bag. Ironically, the girl I had had to read about for my report was treated like me. No, she was treated much worse, because it was bad enough for her to kill herself. I mean, getting called names and laughed at everyday was bad, milk threw all over you is bad, but the girl in the book got asked to prom as a joke and her friends weren't even real friends to her. That's horrible and mean. I could deal with my pathetic classmates and being alone. It wouldn't drive me to killing myself, but it sure would make me insane.

The homework assignment asked me to pretend that I was the girl and write a letter to the bullies telling them what all they made me feel and how they killed me.

Wow, I thought, we're getting deep here.

I pulled out paper and a pencil and got it done. I was pretty proud of it and I felt like I'd done her justice. It was like I had a connection. I followed my English up with my buttload of Calculus, which was no where near as simple.

Thank God I dont have Agriculture homework or Anatomy....

Thinking of Anatomy brought back the great part of my day. I couldn't wrap my head around the fact that Beau Crawford was now my Anatomy partner.

The mega-hot soccer player is my partner. What is up with the world?

I really couldn't see how it could get better. And even if Ella decided she was going to torture me every day for the rest of the year, I was going to enjoy this.

As I went to the kitchen to get some supper I imagined that Beau was with me. That he was my boyfriend and didn't want me to be alone all the time, so he came to stay with me for a while. He leaned up against the counter and watched me search through the cabinets. Then as I settled for a couple pieces of toast, he grinned and shook his head at me, saying "You know you need more than just that."

Oh crap! I thought as the toaster oven beeped that the toast was ready. I really am almost insane. If I start talking back to him I'm signing myself up for counseling.

Long after my toast was gone I was still happily daydreaming about Beau. I tried not to think about how sad it was that the best experiences I could have with him would be in my imagination. The clock chimed eleven o'clock and I knew I'd be awake for longer than I should with school tomorrow morning. There was no way I could go to sleep this worked up.

I ran up stairs and got my drawing pad, pencils and a blanket and returned to the couch. I sketched out how Beau had looked today sitting beside me, focusing on his face. At some point during the sketching I finally mangaged to pass out.

~~-~~

My eyes lazily cracked open as the sun shined through the window on my face. It didn't feel like I had slept at all last night, and I knew already that school was not going to be good today.