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Chapter 10: First Couple of Days

Friday morning

I can barely open my eyes when I wake up. I roll to my side and wince in pain. I gently touch the side of my head and nearly scream in pain. And then it hits me. Last night.. Oh God.

I quickly take my phone out of a drawer and look at it. SHIT, I think. 10:08AM. I must've missed the daily walk.. And the health check and weigh-in.. And I'm late for breakfast. Wow, just great. Perfect first morning here.

I slowly get out of bed, stretching. I don't bother to change. I'm in yesterday's sweatpants and sweatshirt. I didn't even change into my pajamas last night. There goes the embarrassment.. 

I walk to the small room in the end of the hallway and find the nurse there, flipping through a magazine and looking bored. I clear my throat and she looks up from her magazine, startled.

-" h-how can I help you?" She stutters and then tries to go back to normal.

-" oh, just late for my health check and weigh-in. I was asleep. Nobody woke me up, though." I quickly say.

After asking me for my name and room number, she asks me to step on the scale with my back to the small screen. She checks my blood pressure and blood sugar level, then asks a nurse to take me to the  dining hall.

I find an empty seat and quickly have my breakfast, not wanting to stay there for long. Just as I send a text to my friend and am about to finish my breakfast, I hear my name on the loudspeaker. They want me to go to the main office at 11:15. When I'm done with having breakfast, I leave the hall before everyone else with a cup of tea in my hand. I take a quick shower and hear someone knocking on the door, asking me if I'm there. The 20-minute checks. Yay.

I quickly brush my teeth, get into other clothes and try to look better, then hop downstairs as fast as I can. Turns out my parents want to take me home for a day. Wow. How was that even allowed? I have literally no idea. I pack a small bag with the essentials and grab a thick jacket, then wait next to the reception desk.

30 minutes later, I'm at home, and my disgusting father is trying to convince me to go pray, but I don't really believe in all that. I'm not an atheist, but I don't believe in that religion of his. I try to make up some excuses. I'm tired. My head hurts. I need to work out. I have to clean my room. I quickly mumble some excuses. And then he starts yelling and takes my phone away. He tries to hit me but misses. I punch him in the stomach. He doesn't seem to feel a thing. He tries to twist my arm, going crazy because I punched him. I dig my long nails deep into his skin, and he starts bleeding. He tries to follow me, barely able to breathe, but my mother stops him and yells at him. Beautiful family, you see. 

Hours of fighting later, he decides to take us out for lunch. I get back to the centre at about 8PM, just like I'm supposed to. Once I arrive at the reception desk, I am told to go to my psychologist's office quickly. After throwing my bag on my room's floor, I hurry to my psychologist's office. He is sitting there with the psychiatrist I know as Dr. Travista, in a very serious conversation, showing each other papers and scribbling things down. I am greeted warmly and told to sit down. 

-" I heard about what happened last night. Sorry about that. I hope it never happens again. We need to talk about that tomorrow because we don't have much time today. It's already something past eight. Also, keep in mind that you have to hand in your phone on Sunday." He quickly says.

-" yeah, sure. But why did you want to see me so quickly today?" I ask.

-" well, I found out that your parents took you out for the day and we need to determine the dosage of the drug you'll be taking and everything. We don't want to waste any more time."

-" oh okay. One quick question. What's all that about the 20-minute checks thing?"

-" it's for your own good. We don't want you to engage in any activities that harm you physically or mentally. Like last night for example. It's a good thing they saw you."

-" oh."

-" sorry about that. It's for your own good. And a quick reminder, you aren't allowed to watch the daily movie until Monday, and even then, we need to make sure it doesn't trigger any memories."

-" hah. Never thought that'd happen."

After a while of questions and negotiations to not take pills (because I can't swallow them), they decide on some type of syrup with a certain dosage each day. I say goodbye to them and go to my room. I'm not hungry because I just ate, so I just have some jelly beans and pass by the nurse's small office on my floor to take my antidepressant.

That night, I'm allowed to watch 'Home Alone', but I spend most of it scrolling through tumblr and talking to people. I go back to my room early, but it's almost 1AM when I finally leave my phone and go to sleep.

Saturday morning 

It's 07:30AM when I wake up. I quickly get dressed and go downstairs, where lots of people are waiting, like me, for the nurses to arrive so that we can go for our morning walk. Finally, they arrive and I have the most refreshing walk in ages. When I get back, I take a shower, go to the nurse's office for the health check, then go to the hall and have my breakfast. I sip down some iced coffee as I go back to my room. 

After getting ready for the day, I do some yoga and meditation, and it quickly becomes 11AM - time to visit my psychologist, Dr. James.

I get 2 hours of talking, and I tell him about Thursday night and my fight with my father on Friday. We plan my day and he gives me some tips that I have to do today. He tells me to check what I do off the list and to not feel like I'm running out of time because I have a lot of time to finish all the tasks I have to do.

That day, I meditate, go to the gym, walk around the place, observe, write, and take my medicine.

At night, it's early but I'm just laying in my bed, half asleep. I hear a knock on the door and Dr. James entering. I don't really feel like talking so I mumble one-word answers and he kind of gets the idea and leaves early.

It's past 3AM when I fall asleep, after finishing my 'Episode' game tickets.

Sunday morning

It's about 9:30AM when I wake up, and even when I do, I can barely get up. I spend a while on my phone, and it's only when someone comes to check on me that I get up.

I'm one of the last people to finish their health check and have breakfast. Then, I fix the mess I call my hair and carry a pile of laundry downstairs. I play Episode and wait till it's 11AM, then go to my psychologist's office. After I leave, I go back to my room and scroll through my accounts on social media, then go get my clothes and return to my room. I see a very disturbing post. My best friend with that bitch again.. Seriously?

I feel murderous. I curse my phone, lock it, and hand it in. I'm so done with this. She's ashamed of me and talks to that popular whore instead. Great. Let her do whatever she wants. Let's see who leaves first. Let's see how the popular bitch will leave her once she finds someone else.

Fuck you. For real.