Lost Star. [Revising]

"I will try to fix you."

 "Someday you'll know, Kayana. The universe is big, and we're too small for it to care about. If you're gone, everyone will eventually move on. The sun would still be shining, the earth would still be spinning. No, let me get the fact straight. I. Totally. Disagree."

Kayana paid a full attention to Adli's every words, as he bandaged her wounds. He realized that her house lights weren't turned on, so he broke into the house and came for a rescue. He found kayana laying on the floor with the dried off blood making a pattern in her rugs.

"Your mom, the amazing lady who gave birth to you, would think she raised you wrong. She would blame herself for not listening and understanding you. She would constantly worry about your siblings, and never forgive herself. She would regret her decision to allow you to live on your own. Your dad would hate himself for leaving you, and mentally and emotionally scarring you. he would never see his little girls face again. he would never get to see his grandchildren or anything. your grandparents, would never get to see their great grandchildren. they would shake and sob, knowing that their granddaughter has cut herself, because she was tired of life. "

There was a comfortable silence between them, before he continued his words.

"Your best friend would never forgive herself for your death. She would read back through your old messages, and cry in the shower. She would keep all the pictures and screenshots she has of you, just to keep you close. She would never come to school and blame herself. Your teachers would have never been harsh on you, if they would've known you were depressed. They told you , you couldn't do it, and now you're gone. They really thought you had so much potential. Your school would have a 2 hour assembly to remember you. the slideshow would play, everybody in tears, remembering the wonderful, amazing person you were. no one would ever say anything bad about you, and they would all attend your funeral."

He finished bandaging her wound, but he held her hand captive, he didn't let her go.

"The worst of all, is your band family. your band family would have to play your favorite piece, without you. Your second singer would be replacing your place as the main vocalist, but she wouldn't be able to do it, because she's bursting into tears. your instrument would never be touched. Your chair in class would never be placed. You would always be a part of your section. Everybody would care. Everybody would mourn. Nobody would say they didn't think about you once a day. And before you go, and do something that could affect yourself, think about, who and what it would affect around you"

Adli kissed her covered scars, and he said to her in a deep tone that could freeze the seven seas.

"Now go and chase your dreams. Run like you're the first in the lane. Study hard and work harder. Hang out with your friends. Fall in love. Have an one night stand. Travel the world. Be happy, if you couldn't do it for yourself, do it for me."

I'll do it for him.

"Do it for me, Kayana."

I'll try. Not for you, for him.

"You're so nice to me. I don't deserve to be treated nice. I'm a bad person. I hurt myself. Aren't you afraid that I'm going to hurt you? I'm sorry, Adli. You shouldn't trust me. You should've left me here rotting or dying from an infection. I'm cut myself. I'm a psychopath. I'm a maniac." She panicked, she pulled her wrist from his palm.

"Kayana.. Listen to me."

She looked up to his eyes, her own filled with tears of sadness.

"You need to love yourself before anyone else can. You aren't a maniac. You hurt yourself because you're afraid you're going to hurt another. You are not mad, trust me. You're just a little bit unstable. Have you ever thought about it, Kayana? Do you think carving scars into your bare skin would solve any of your problems? No. All it would do is just putting the weights in your shoulder. Would it make Diemas back? It wouldn't." He explained patiently. He soothed her fears, he set her demon back.

"I can't.. I just feel like I'm lost. Like I'm underwater. I wanted to scream but even a squeal couldn't escape my mouth. It's like being drown, except you can see everyone breathing. I'm broken, Adli."

"Lights will guide you home, and I will try to fix you." He said with a hope shining through his eyes, saving her.

PS: This chapter was made from an inspiration and an excerpt from i-am-somebody-that-nobody-likes.tumblr.com 's post. And I made this as a dedication for my fellow friends out there, who is battling with mental illness, or is suffering from self-harm. A friendly reminder that you can do it! I believe in the power inside you, you can win! :-)