Cousin Love (A Vampire Diaries fanfiction)

Chapter Two

Chapter Two:

Suddenly, it was the year......wait. What the heck! Why are there dinosaurs? I mean, I knew Katherine was old but not this old.

Suddenly a small fat man with a strong Irish hairline ran by in a panic, pulling a wagon full of orphan meat behind him. "Run while you can, kiddies!" He shouted at us. "The T-Rex is coming, and he's not happy I stole his orphan meat!"

I looked to Damon for guidance. "We should definately not follow that guy." He concluded.

"But....he has orphan meat...." Stefan whined. What a loser. And a weenie. What a wooser.

I sighed and shook my head at Stefan.  To think I was once madly in love with him.  I was crazy.  "Stefan, just because a strange chubby man has some strange concotion of food doesn't mean you should follow him.  That's how you become a deranged stalker and end up talking to strangers on Omegle about T-Swizzle and depression and waffles.  I know from experience that it's just not the path you want to go down."

Stefan crossed his arms over his chest and puckered his big bottom lip out like a baby.  He could be so dramatic sometimes.  "You're no fun.  I don't know why I ever thought I was in love with you.  Actually, I was technically never in love with you.  I only dated you to get closer to Jeremy, but he rejected me . . . twice.  I cried like a baby each time, and suddenly out of nowhere popped Jacob.  He's been my new lover ever since, and he actually loves me back.  He's my Jakey-poo."

The sound of shaking, thunderous footsteps echoed through the air.  We all stopped yapping and looked around wildly for the source of the noise.

Jacob gasped and pointed into the distance.  "Look, Paul Bunyon!"

"Jacob, that's a dinosaur," Damon pointed out, staring at Jacob like he was a complete retard.  He glanced at Stefan and shook his head, totally ashamed.  "Of all the 'hot' shirtless dudes you could have picked, you just had to pick this dummy?  Really, this is a new low, even for you, Stefan."

"Guys, uh, dinosaur!" I screamed in horror.

Everyone turned around and screamed at the huge monster stomping towards us.  It was a T-Rex, and it clearly wanted to chow down on us for a midnight snack.  Or daylight snack.

However, to our surprise, as soon as it reached us it stopped. I gave it a questioning look, but it just smirked at me. Then, it broke out into the Thriller dance. Micheal Jackson came out from behind a tree and joined along, singing the words. 

Cause it's a Thriller! Thriller Night!

Soon everyone had joined in and we were all dancing, and having a great time. But then the weirdest thing happened.

I woke up.

I was suddenly in my bed all alone. I sat up, breathing heavily. "Hi." A voice said. I looked over to the corner of my room, and it was Micheal Jackson! I screamed, and then I woke up again. Only this time, I was on a couch in my living room. I sat up groggily and then the weirdest thing happened. A kagaroo with Damon's voice hopped in.

"Get in my pouch." He demanded. 

"Wtf, man?" I slapped him. He hit me with his tail.

"I don't know, Elena. Where is the fridge?" He smirked. Creepy kangaroo kid.

And then, I woke up again. I was laying on the ground in a desert wasteland somewhere. Damon, , Stefan, and Jacob Black were all looking down at me with concerned faces.

"Are you okay, Elena?" Jacob asked. "That rock that crazy guy threw at your head was pretty big."

"You mean the one with the strong Irish hairline and the orphan meat?" I asked groggily.

"You bet your britches!" The man suddenly ran by, shrieking. "And I'd do it again in a heart beat, ya crazy mermaid."

I ignored him and turned to Damon. "It was like inception there for a moment!" I told him. "And you were a kangaroo." Damon frowned at me, picked me up, and threw me into a nearby bush.

Well someone's sensitive.