Blue Christmas

Part 14:

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It didn't take long for River to come around once The Doctor had removed her helmet. Yet in those vital minutes he had sent a message to the Judoon commander about the miraculous reappearance of the Rigellan Star Emerald in the very vault it had supposedly been stolen from. Even so it would probably be wise to keep a low profile and avoid the Judoon and the Shadow Proclamation for a while.

The Doctor had also managed to pilot them into the time vortex and begin to pick through options of just where he could transport River, somewhere that even she would struggle to get into trouble for a while. Oh who was he kidding River would create trouble just to avoid being bored, much like another lady of his acquaintance, well it could never be said he didn't have a type...

"That was out of order." River hissed fairly vibrating with anger as she pulled herself off of the grated floor and used the edge of the Tardis console to steady herself.

"Perhaps." The Doctor conceded but his blue grey eyes remained resolute even in the face of his wife's ire. "But it was necessary."

"You've changed." River muttered, her green eyes serious and assessing as she looked properly at this new Doctor, so very serious and so much older in more than just looks. "And not for the better my love."

"Why because I am finally starting to look at the consequences of my actions?" The Doctor snapped back, it was a sore spot and River with her unerring precision had poked it dead on. "Starting to accept what I do does have consequences for myself and other people and that they are my responsibility to deal with."

"Did this new face come with an extra dose of self-importance and pomposity of was this something you've chosen to adopt?" River snorted, shaking her head, golden ringlets dancing. "And I never asked you to protect me from the consequences of my actions Doctor!"

"No just to get you out of jail and break you into the very vault you planned to steal from." The Doctor replied bitterly. "You used me River and if you cannot understand that then no wonder you cannot begin to understand my approach."

"So what suffocating me was what punishment for tricking you?"

"No it was the only way to stop you." The Doctor sighed. "You could have just given me the emerald but..."

"What after you ordered me to? Sorry Sweetie but I take orders from no man not even my husband."

Sighing The Doctor ran his hand wearily over his face. He just felt so tired. Now the adrenaline had worn off and he was staring dead on at the consequences he had yet to face. It would be so much easier just to run away, to try to forget, to not even try to mend fences with Missy.

Feeling a hand rest on his shoulder The Doctor looked up, surprised not to see an angry River but one whose face was filled with concern.

"Doctor please tell me what is wrong? And don't try and tell me you're fine because I know you well enough to know that lie when I see it."

Forcing a smile for her The Doctor covered her hand lightly with his own, squeezing it gently before removing it from his shoulder. Holding her gloved hand carefully between his own The Doctor swallowed down the hard lump in his throat. This was not going to be easy to say and yet there was no running away from this conversation not if he was serious about facing up to things.

"I didn't tell you the whole truth before. When I told you about my new...urgh..."

"Not companion?" River supplied helpfully and this time The Doctor shot her a genuine smile. "Forgive me Dear but that is hardly a surprise."

"She is far more than a not companion River." The Doctor stumbled over the words. "We have a family."

That River had clearly not been expecting, even as she feigned a nonchalant expression even as she suddenly couldn't quite meet his gaze. "Oh I didn't think that was possible...I mean you never mentioned..."

"It is possible with a few species and some medical expertise." The Doctor explained gently. "I never mentioned because with our...well that was really never an option for us and if I am honest I tried being a father once and I was terrible at it...I still am if I am honest."

Pulling her hand free River did her best not to let her pain show, she knew he was only speaking the truth but that didn't mean that it hurt any less. "I suppose not, so why now..." The why her was left unspoken yet they both heard it.

Biting down on his tongue The Doctor swallowed down his immediate reply, he had no desire to be cruel after all. "That would be a very long story."

"I appear to have the time." River replied. "And since this is goodbye I think we should do it properly."

"River..." The Doctor began to protest yet the words died on his tongue. She was right this was goodbye, it had to be, but there was no reason not to do it properly. "Dinner?"

"With dancing and a view please." River demanded with a hint of her former fire and The Doctor conceded with a nod.

Moving around the console he programmed in the coordinates, after all there was only once place in the known galaxy they could go and the knowledge of what this would set in motion broke his hearts a little more.

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