Blue Christmas

Part 16:

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The Singing Towers were everything and more than The Doctor had heard and everything and more that he had been dreading. They had danced and drunk the finest wine in the sector. River had laughed and kissed him when he gave her her very own sonic screwdriver and The Doctor had pretended it was the wind when she caught him looking at her glassy eyed. It was the last night they would see each other, The Doctor knew it and he had more than a sneaking suspicion that River knew it too.

She had told him that she loved him and The Doctor had smiled, yet he didn't say it back, he couldn't and she knew it and still loved him despite his shortcomings. And when he apologised he didn't need to explain for what. River had simply smiled sadly, had laid her head against his shoulder as they danced muttering something how you didn't expect the stars to love you back.

Love was such a human concept and even for a Time Lord who had spent as many years among humans as he had it was still so very alien to him. Could Time Lords even love in a way that human's would understand? Could they even begin to explain to a species who were not naturally telepathic just what that sort of forever emotional bond would require from a Time Lord, how very dangerous it could be?

A Time Lord marriage required a telepathic bonding as well as a binding of houses, yet those bonds were purposefully kept light touch and free from emotion. Arranged marriages were still the norm on Gallifrey because the alternative...a free match...well it could be highly dangerous for more than just the bound couple. Any couple wanting to choose a free match had to be carefully vetted by at least two mind healers before the bonding could be officiated and for once this onerous bureaucracy actually had a purpose.

A freely bonded couple might be tempted into a deeper bond, might share too much of themselves, might become too dependent upon their chosen mate.

There were stories from Gallifrey's dark past which told of Time Lords going mad from grief at the loss of their bond mate, going mad and going on indiscriminate murderous rampages. Every academy student of a certain age was forced to listen to the recounting of the tale of Bittimus the Butcher and Silanius the Bloody.

Those stories had only added to The Doctor's already considerable nightmares and yet there had been a time when he had been so close to requesting a free bonding of his own.

It would never have been approved. His own telepathic skills were reasonable but his shielding had always been poor, his preferred mate was by contrast formidable even by Time Lord standards and yet it was Koschei's mental instability that would have been questioned. For if Koschei lost control then there would be nothing that Theta would be able to do to stop her from forcing a full bond the way a more powerful telepath would.

"Alright old girl time to face the music." The Doctor pronounced to the empty Tardis feeling the comforting brush of his ship's consciousness against his mind as he pulled up the stored coordinates and pushed down the dematerialiser.

The ship lurched and The Doctor held on tight relieved when the shaking stopped. That had been rougher than usual as though the Tardis had been fighting against the journey for some reason.

"Look I know you aren't too fond of her, and I am more than a little suspicious about how River just happened to call when Missy was alone in the console room." The Doctor tutted as he made his way over to the double doors. "But she is the twin's mother and her place is here with them. Besides she makes me happy can you please try to accept that?"

The Tardis answering hum was somewhere between sulky and insulting and The Doctor chose not to reply. Instead he reached for the doors and pulled them open, stopping dead and staring at the sudden eruption of greenery that certainly hadn't be there the last time.

"Alright this is not funny...No more games old girl." The Doctor huffed as he slammed the doors shut and stalked over to the console, yet even when he jabbed at the time settings and tried to dematerialise the Tardis flatly refused to move. The controls were dead under his hands.

"Fine be like that but you will not stop me from finding my family!" The Doctor marched angrily to the doors taking a deep breath of the air.

It was cold and crisp and there...there what could only be the familiar interweaving scents of infant time lords filled his nostrils that and...he could even smell Missy, he hadn't expected to be able to in her human form. So they had to be close, very close; he would be able to track them without help from the Tardis.

Fighting his way out of the large offensive bush The Doctor picked pieces of greenery from his hair and clothing, turning around as he practically stumbled his way onto a manicured lawn with large well-tended flower beds.

Suburbia.

Even thinking the word made The Doctor come out in a cold sweat, people who drove Volvos, had mortgages and gave dinner parties.

Look they were even having one now.

Ambling up to the large patio window The Doctor banged his hand against the glass, yet it took longer than expected for the yelling to descend to a more reasonable level and then finally someone noticed him.

Waving jauntily The Doctor scanned the assorted stunned faces before his gaze settled on the one person he was both desiring and dreading coming face to face with...Oh and boy did she look anything but happy to see him.

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