The Forgotten Past

Chapter 1

Grace

It has been 4 years since my mother's death.

How would you react if your father told you that your mother died in a car when you are just fourteen years old?

I cried. I cried for days not wanting to believe it. Not being able to believe that someone isn't longer on this earth with you. That they just left without saying anything.
But that's what life is. Sometimes it just happens and you can't do anything against it.
You can't rewind it. You have to learn to live with it.

I haven't had enough time with her and neither did my little sister Ava.

I remember my dad acting weird and different and I couldn't understand why. The love of his life had died but this was different. It changed him in a different way. He wasn't sad, he was being emotionless. I couldn't see a single emotion show on his face.

Either way he did not handle it well.

I still find it really difficult to talk about her, but seeing my little sister Ava laying those white daisies, that our mom loved so much, on her grave makes this day a bit more bearable.

Ava is the stronger one of us two and I love that so much about her. She is so brave.

When I'm sad she always knows it somehow, which I still don't understand. I always think it's a sisters bound or something like that, but every time I say it she just starts laughing at me, and then she says that it's a thing she has from our mom (which I clearly do not have).

Sometimes Ava reminds me so much of her in the way that she is just as caring and funny as mom was.

I miss her presence but Ava is all I need.

With her I can live on.

When I, dad and Ava come back from the graveyard I decide to go to the lake in the woods to take some pictures. I come there almost every week, and every time I'm out there photographing, I find new things to take a picture of that I have not seen there before.

Dad doesn't like me going there for some reason, which he has not told me. Every time I go there it leaves him pissed at me and saying that I'm just as stubborn as mom was. Don't get me wrong I do love my father but sometimes he can be a pain in the ass. He just tries so hard to be a good father and then fails miserably.

I go upstairs and get my camera and an extra SD-card because I always take far too many pictures.

I walk past Ava's room and the door to her room is slightly open and I hear her singing Hello by Adele. It sounds so cute hearing her sing and every time I hear her it sounds better than the last time.

I smirk a little and then her head turns around to look at me. "Gracie! You know that I don't like you watching when I'm trying to sing", she says with the anger in her voice but it still sounds much too cute. I laugh a little. "Sorry. I won't disturb you any longer, I'm going to the lake. Then you can sing all of those Hellos just as Adele does," I say with a smile on my lips. "Shut up Grace!" she yells while throwing a pillow at me. I laugh even harder now and say, "I love you!" and then walk to the stairs.

While I'm walking down the stairs I see my father sitting behind the dinner table in the kitchen. He's gripping his head with his hands and looks upset, or is it sad?

He looks up at me when I come to the bottom of the stairs. His eyes automatically widen. I really hope he won't make a big deal of me going to the lake again, but then he speaks, "Gracie, sweetheart, I need to talk to you for a minute, '' he says with a quiet but really determined voice. When he speaks this way it's usually serious.

I'm so not I the mood for that right now. It has been a long day. I just want to go out and photograph by the lake and forget everything for a little while.

''Dad, can we talk when I get back? I really need to go'', I say and it is bit of a lie but I just want to get out of here. "Gracie, please, you know that I don't like you going there. Think about what mom would say, '' he says while looking at me with his blue eyes.

I cannot believe what I'm hearing. Why would he say that? He knows very well how much that lake matters to me because mom was the one who showed me the place.

When he finally realizes what he has said he stands up and walks towards me while saying,

"No, Gracie please I'm sorry. I didn't mean it that way,'' but I'm already walking out of the front door and slam it with anger behind me.