Tonight The World Dies

Chapter 8: Brian

The clock on my beside table flashed at 4.a.m, again.

I couldn't sleep, and haven't been able to sleep properly for the past week. The box full of Jimmy's things continued to sit, wedged, in the corner beside my set of drawers; I couldn't face going through it again. It didn't feel right, and not only that, but ever since I'd opened that box, I'd been having nightmares - nightmares about Jimmy, about Avery, and about everyone that I loved. It was driving me insane.

I checked the time again. 4:03...this night was going to be interminable.

I let out a sigh before leaning over to open my bedside drawer. There were many of the usual things inside my drawer that you'd expect someone to have, but I had something a little extra, for moments like these when I needed some help relaxing.

Hidden behind a book, and tucked away in the back right-hand corner, sat a small pouch full of marijuana. I pulled it out along with the small bag with tobacco and rolling papers I kept next to it. It took me less than five minutes to roll myself a small one; I placed everything back in the drawer and grabbed the lighter that was hidden somewhere in there. It was a Zippo lighter that Avery had brought me for my birthday the previous year: it had a she-devil on it, wearing not much more than a pair of red latex underwear and her long, thick black hair just about covering her breasts - my girlfriend knew me well.

As carefully as I could, I slid my legs round and stood up from the bed before making my way over to the bedroom window and cracking it open. Avery wasn't adverse to this kind of stuff, but I didn't want to wake her with the smell of smoke blanketing the room.

I placed the roll-up in my mouth and brought the Zippo up, flicking the lid open before igniting the flame and lighting up the joint. The smoke instantly filled my mouth, and I briefly closed my eyes, savouring the taste of herb before I blew the smoke back out, watching as it got drawn out the window. I leant back against the wall, and turned my gaze back to the bed, to make sure that I hadn't disturbed Avery...but I had: she was laying on her side and watching me.

"Sorry, I didn't mean to wake you." I apologised.

"It's okay." Avery answered with a tired smile. Her voice was slightly hoarse from where she'd just woke up. "Couldn't sleep again?" She asked, pushing herself up to a sitting position. I saw her check the time on the clock before she let out a tiresome yawn.

"No." I answered, holding the joint into the air. "But, I'm currently trying to fix that."

A mischievous smile crept across Avery's lips. She slid across the bed, and got up, allowing the large Guns 'n' Roses T-shirt that she was wearing to fall down her legs. I think it was one of my old shirts that I no longer wore - regardless, she looked good in it and I couldn't help but admire her as she walked over to me. As she did, I took in a drag of the joint before offering it to Avery. She took it, and went to go lean against the window sill as she took in a lungful herself.

I watched her carefully, knowing exactly how she was going to react because the stuff I kept hidden in my drawer was a lot stronger than any of the normal stuff I got, since when I needed the stuff in my drawer, it was often in times like these when I needed it to really work. Sure enough, Avery's eyes widened as the taste filled her mouth, she let out a small cough before controlling it and then slowly blowing the smoke out.

"Wow...okay, that's strong." Avery said, handing me the joint back. I chuckled before taking in another lungful. "Did you have another nightmare?" Avery asked after another moment - she'd been staring up at the stars in the midnight blue sky.

"Yeah." I answered with a shrug, flicking the ash out of the window.

"What was it about?" Avery pried, her eyebrows furrowing together with curiosity.

I shook my head, drawing in another drag from the smoke. "I don't want to talk about it." I grumbled, looking out of the window and across the street. Matt's house was practically opposite to ours, and was visible from our bedroom window - all of his lights were out, probably because he was asleep like any normal person would be at this hour.

Avery held out her hands in surrender. "Alright." She huffed, turning to stare out the window herself.

I turned my attention to Avery, watching her for a while. I knew she was probably irritated that I wasn't going to tell her about my nightmare, but the one I'd had tonight had been too painful to remember. I'd forced it to the back of my mind the moment I'd woke up, and I didn't plan on remembering it.

By the time that I finished my joint, I could feel the drug starting to take affect. I flicked the butt out of the window before closing it and leaning back against the bedroom wall, closing my eyes and allowing myself to space out a little. After a moment, I felt Avery's hand wrap around mine.

I opened an eye.

"Come to bed." She suggested, her voice sweet, warm and inviting. Her deep brown eyes instantly melted me, meaning that I couldn't resist her even if I wanted to. I followed her over to the bed and sat on the edge, waiting as she shuffled over to her side on her knees. She sat down, with her legs thrown over to one side and reached out with her hand to pull me over to her. I kind of collapsed, resting my head on her lap as she leant back against the headrest, her hands lethargically lacing their way through my hair.

"It'll get easier." Avery said, it almost seemed as if she was saying it more to herself than me.

"I know." I replied, shutting my eyes in a hope that my mind might actually finally get the hint. It was probably around quarter to five by now - the sun would be up in a few hours. "But right now, it doesn't seem like it: everytime it seems to get a little better, I end up finding myself in a new, deeper hole."

"I know." Avery agreed, her voice laced with contempt. I felt her move, and then I felt the her soft lips planting a kiss against the top of my head.

The room fell into a peaceful silence. The only thing that I could hear were the sound of the early morning birds outside and the beating of Avery's heart. It calmed me down enough (and along with the tranquil effect of the smoke) to allow me to drift away into a peaceful, and dreamless sleep.