Tonight The World Dies

Chapter 17: Avery

I fucked up.

All this time spent avoiding Matt had been for nothing when I'd gone and done the worst thing possible anyway: I'd kissed him back.

Dragging my hands through my hair, I leant against the wall and shut my eyes, praying for the ground to swallow me up so that all of this could end. I should've told Brian that morning after Matt had kissed me, then maybe all of this mess could've been avoided. My knees gave way, causing me to slide down the brickwork until my ass hit the ground. Thoughts rushed around my head at a thousand miles per hour, not one of them slowing for a moment in order for me to grab it and think it over.

I hadn't gone too far from the bus after I'd left. I'd only walked a few feet before everything had overwhelmed me and my vision quickly became a watery ocean of colours.

I sat with my head resting in my lap, trying my best to stop the thoughts in my head from whirling around in one big mess. I'd managed to start getting somewhere when I heard footsteps approach me. I didn't look up, not until I felt a hand brush over my knee as someone sat beside me.

The moment that I looked up, my eyes met with a pair of dark, chocolatey brown ones. My heart instantly melted, and I wanted to cry all over again.

"Hey, are you alright?" Brian asked, bringing a hand up to rest on my arm. I think he'd probably come out for a smoke, but instead, found me here, bawling my eyes out because I was an awful person that cheated on her boyfriend. Brian searched my eyes worryingly, only making the guilt brewing inside the pit of my stomach grow stronger.

My mind struggled to find an answer to tell him, but after a few moments of awkward silence, I finally knew what to say.

"I...I have something to tell you." I began, looking Brian in the eye. I had to tell him now before Johnny told him, and like I'd said earlier, I should've just told him the truth from the start. Oddly enough, I felt quite calm about this, despite the fact that telling Brian could possible ruin our entire relationship, causing me to lose everything in my life that I dearly cared about.

But, whatever happened, I knew I deserved it.

"What?" Brian prompted after noting that I'd not said a word for a minute or so.

"Avery, there you are." I heard a voice interrupt. I snapped my head round, looking up to see Matt standing a few feet away, with Johnny standing behind him. "Can we talk to you for a moment?" Matt asked, jolting his head to the side. A look of plead flashed across his hazel eyes, begging me to stop what I was doing and go with him.

Not that I understood why, after all, hadn't this been our plan? To come clean?

"Ah..." I paused, turning back to Brian. I wasn't sure what to do. Here I was about to tell Brian about Matt and I, and here was Matt, stopping me from doing so. I knew if I left with Matt now, then this chance to come clean to Brian would disappear as I'd probably lose the confidence to do so. But as I was thinking over my options, Brian took my hand, causing me to look up and meet with his eyes. He nodded, his lips curling into a small, but adorable, smile.

"Go." Brian told me. "You can tell me whatever it is later." He added with a smile before he moved his hand to retrieve a cigarette from his pocket. I gave him one last glance before I got up and followed Matt and Johnny inside.

We walked down the hallway for a minute before Johnny turned into a small, but secure, room, allowing the three of us to have a little privacy. Matt shut the door behind me before instantly whirling around to face me with an irritable expression across his face.

"Avery, what the hell were you thinking?" Matt questioned, his eyebrows furrowing in anger.

"What was I thinking? I was thinking I was doing the right thing for once." I argued back, matching Matt's glare and holding it for a second until I remembered that Johnny was also in the room. "And what are you doing here?" I asked, turning to face Johnny; my tone of voice possibly a little too hostile than it needed to be.

"Well," Johnny began, clearing his throat, "you disappeared before you heard what else I had to say."

"And what's that?" I asked, folding my arms across my chest.

"I overheard you saying that you were going to tell Val, so, because Val deserves to hear it from you two, rather than me, I told Matt to tell her otherwise I would." Johnny explained.

"Okay...but then why stop me from telling Brian?" I questioned, flittering my gaze between the pair.

"It's probably best if you don't tell Brian until we're back home." Matt said.

"What? In fear that he might smash up the place?" I asked, almost laughing. "Don't you think he'd have the right to do that, all things considered?"

Matt sighed frustratedly. "Yes, but-"

"But," Johnny intervened a little more calmly, "we've got one last show left, and at least two days worth of travelling to do, stuck in that bus, with Brian pissed at you and Matt; and I think I know who he'd pick to take his anger out on." Johnny said, his gaze quickly glancing over at Matt.

I bit my lip. There was half of me that felt annoyed at how little faith the pair of them appeared to have in Brian. They instantly assumed that he was going to flip when he was told about this; but then again, I knew deep down that they were absolutely right. If I told Brian now, the rest of this tour would be filled with hateful glares, snarky comments and the occasional confrontation resulting in Matt and/or Brian getting a black eye and a bloodied nose. It wouldn't be fun, and would only make matters worse.

Brian wasn't the kind of person to anger quickly; it took a lot for him to snap, but once he did, he did it spectacularly. And I had a feeling that him being told that his girlfriend of nearly ten years, had cheated on him with his best friend since high school, would probably make him snap.

And regardless of how I felt for Matt at this moment in time, he didn't deserve to be on the receiving end of Brian's anger, no matter what he'd done...or I'd done.

"Okay." I eventually agreed, blowing out a deep breath that I hadn't even realised I'd been holding in. "I'll wait until we get back home." I looked up, meeting the eyes of Matt and Johnny as I thought something over. "But, the million dollar question is, when are we going to tell Val?" I questioned.

Matt and Johnny exchanged a look. This was clearly something they hadn't thought over.

"How...about tomorrow?" Johnny suggested. "We're staying at a hotel overnight, it would mean you'd be able to get privacy easily in order to tell her and Val would have a night to think it all over before we all end up back squashed into that bus for the journey home."

I glanced over at Matt and raised my eyebrows. "It's not a bad idea." I said, shrugging my shoulders in agreement to Johnny's suggestion.

Matt let out a shaky sigh. "No, it's not." He admitted. "Alright, tomorrow it is." He agreed.

And that was that.