Unwanted Gifts

Chapter 10

"Hello Sandra." An unfamiliar voice called through the speaker.
"Hello, who is this?" I asked.
"I am General Harwits. I am here to teach you how to fight and control your powers."
"Why do I need to know how to fight?" I asked him.
"You are going to help with the cause."
"What are you talking about? What cause? From what I know, its all peace and sunshine here."
"Valindia is a strong country that has enjoyed peace for a long time, but a new force has began pushing in from the southern border."
"Near Shamdon?"
"The entire population of Shamdon has turned on us."
"Why? Why would they turn from safety?"
"I don't know, but you could be very useful to the cause."
"What would I be doing exactly?" I questioned.
"You would be fighting on the front lines, taking down rebel camps. You would be an excellent weapon against the resistance."
"So I'd be attacking people?" I said, feeling a little queasy.
"Precisely." Suddenly, imagined scenarios started flashing through my head. Buildings burning, people screaming, fire spreading. Patrick stood in the middle of it all, scorched and screaming.
"No!" I yelled, pulling myself from the images.
"Sandra, you would be more effective than 100 ground troops. Please reconsider." He said.
"I can't kill anyone else! One was enough!"
"What are you talking about?" Dr Grace said through the speaker.
"Patrick! I killed him! It's my fault he's gone! All he did was love me and I killed him!" I screamed, tears falling from my eyes.
"Patrick is fine!" Dr Grace said, her voice ringing through my room. "Where in the world did you get that idea from!?" She asked me.
"I burned him! I watched him collapse into the fire and then you put me into four months of isolation! I assumed the worst! You didn't tell me anything about my family and friends after that!" I said, steam erupting from my eyes.
"He is fine. They are all fine." She said, her voice calm and collected.
"Why don't you let me see them? Or even hear them? I can't keep going on like this. This isn't living!" I sobbed.
"We will give you some space," she said, "let me know when your ready to talk." The light on the speaker shut off. I sat back on my bed, trying to collect my thoughts. My mind raced, new ideas and possibilities spiraling out of control. First of all, Patrick is alive. He is still around. I could still see him, be with him. If he still wants me, of course. I mean, I almost killed him. It's not a safe relationship I guess. Secondly, the government wants me to kill innocent people, not knowing why they have chosen to cause a fight. I don't think I'm ready for that yet. Who am I kidding? I can't even go a day without having a mental breakdown, I know I can't handle that. Knowing how to control my powers would be nice though. What if I could get myself under enough control that I would be able to live a normal life with Patrick. That would be beautiful, absolutely beautiful.
"Grace? You listening?" The light on the speaker came back on.
"Yep I'm here Sandy. You ready to talk?" She asked me.
"So, seeing my current mental state, I don't think I'm ready for the front lines yet. I am very interested in the whole learning to control my powers thing." The male voice cut in once again.
"The training goes hand in hand with the combat training. It would be a waste to spend my time training someone who doesn't intend on fighting." The general explained.
"Well, she still needs to know how to control herself." Dr Grace retorted.
"I don't want to waste me effort." Harwits grumbled.
"Shes a danger to public safty until shes trained." Grace replied.
"Not if she stays here in her cell." He said. Silence followed. About a minute later Dr Grace spoke into the speaker.
"He stormed off. I can see if I can convince him to help you Sandra." She said.
"Thank you." I said, internalizing their conversation. Am I really here just because I'm a public threat? I thought they were trying to get me help but maybe it's not as hopeful as I thought.