Random x readers

Lady Deadpool x reader

Setting: Being a weapons administrator, your life is okay. But when Lady Deadpool shows up at your door, everything seems to go downhill.

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     You were watching Dr.Phil. Currently Steven Avery's case was on, and you were torn. This is crazy. You thought. I need a break.

You turned off your tv and stood up. You avoided the piles of dirty clothes and made your way to the kitchen.  After making some Mac N' cheese, you sat down on the couch.

Your thoughts drifted back a new weapon you wanted to smuggle. It was something Tony Stark had recently designed, and all your customers wanted it. You took another bite of your meal, grimacing at the cheap taste.

You were pretty wealthy, so you didn't understand why you still lived in a chum bucket and ate crap food. You need to keep a low profile.

Your phone started ringing, and the song Tom Ford started playing. It was your main customer, Lady Deadpool. She was a total {redacted}. But she had a lot of money to waste on weapons.

"Hey. It's not Weasel," you said into the phone. Weasel was another W.A. He was your sworn enemy for life. You both competed to see who could sell the most crap and get the most money.

"Hey Y/N! Can you get the biggest gun you have out? I'm coming over!" She sounded out of breath. You shrugged, even though she couldn't see it.

"Sure. Bring some money," you requested. You stood up and walked down to your basement.

It was full to the brim with swords, rifles, grenades, and even tracking device or two. You had everything you could think of.

You grabbed the biggest shotgun you had. Lady Deadpool had nicknamed it Sassy. You didn't complain over the nickname.

"I have 10 bucks," she said over the phone. You forgot she was even on the phone. You shrugged.

"You can pay me back later."

You charged up Sassy. The thing about Sassy, was that she shot out globs of blue crap. The blue crap dissolved anything it touched, even soil. The only way to stop it was pouring water on it.

You made your way upstairs, and carefully set Sassy on your kitchen table.

"I'm here!" LD screamed. She crashed through the window.

"What the actual {redacted}!" You screamed right back. You grabbed Sassy again and pointed her at Lady DP.

"You just broke my window!" You yelled at her. She shrugged and rushed up to you.

"Give me the gun!"

You glared at her.

"Why would-" you were interrupted as more people crashed through your windows.

"Seriously?" You yelled at them. Lady Deadpool forced Sassy from your hands and started shooting them.

"Not in my house!" It was too late. Blue globs were demolishing everything in sight.

"Ugh," you groaned. Sometimes, you hated your job. Because stuff like this happened.

"Sorry!" Your companion said cheerfully. You grabbed your phone and ran downstairs. After grabbing a couple of katanas, a brand new shotgun, a small rifle, and a backpack full of money, you ran back upstairs.

"Let's go!" She yelled.

The blue crap had eaten your whole living room, and nothing remained.

"I actually liked this house..." You complained.