Don't let the Bed Bugs Bite ~ A Janiel Fanfiction

Prologue

Imagination, it's a funny thing, right? You can think up anything you desire then poof! It's real inside your head. It's real and special to you only; a whole other world awaits you inside your own mind. Suddenly absurd abstracts such as pink ponies and candy land exist because you imagine it to. I remember as a kid imagining and creating the most exciting creatures or worlds all for me to visit. It didn't require me to take a test or learn some information to be able to create these non-existent fantasies.

My favourite place to visit as a kid was a kingdom I named 'Joyalot' (sounds pretty unoriginal I know). It was a place where I could be joyous and feel happy without the judgement of others. It was kingdom filled with happy people who all felt equal and never accepted prejudice. I, King Joey, lived in the magnificent castle erected on the tallest mountain in the village. I owned riches and jewels galore and was given anything I desired. My subjects obeyed my every word but did so, so kindly without a second thought. It was in this 'happy-go-lucky' kingdom that I knew I could be myself. I could play all the video games I want, have the 'Veronica's' play endless concerts for me and I could dress in flamboyant clothing without being tortured with unnecessary labels.

I visited 'Joyalot' often enough to keep my sanity with the world. All's I'd have to do was close my eyes and suddenly I would submerge myself in a magical world I could call my own. It's funny though, imagination is far from the truth of reality. Because you see I didn't live in a castle, I wasn't a king and I certainly at the most of times wasn't accepted. Sometimes I wonder if imagination is a bad thing. It corrupts your subconscious thoughts into something so deluded and fictional that you begin to fantasise on dreams that will never exist. I became infatuated with the thought of living a different life. Not that I hated the one I had lived but I never loved it. My mother was a serious alcoholic that seemed to become tangled up in her intoxicated fantasies much like I became tangled with my imagination. Maybe the whole time I was the one intoxicated and I never knew it.

She danced her way through this whimsical world that she thought was okay. She seemed to believe it was alright to leave her son and daughter in an emotional conflict that they would have to deal with for the rest of their life. No matter how much I anger I feel towards her I still can't help but love her. I know underneath the blonde haired drunken mess there is still the sober Mom I love so very much. She comes and goes as she pleases that Mom. She always had and always will.

One person I found important in my life also left, but never came back when he pleased, he never came back at all. My Dad left us when I was young, tragically because of my mother. Was it a good aspect, or bad? I'll never really know but I liked to imagine a life that is so amazingly different from the one I was living. So you see my imagination was something that kept me stable, it kept me from ever hurting myself.

A twisted 'happy-go-lucky' imagination however fades with time. You go from an innocent soul that only was ever interested in a whole different and fictional place to a stubborn teenager that still struggles with the real world. I wish I could say I kept my imagination right through high school, that I still kept my twisted fantasies that helped keep me sane, but I didn't. 'Joyalot' practically vanished from existence never to return to see the light of day. I visited my happy land only on occasion, when I was at my worst; when my Mom would come home, so blind drunk that she would almost forget who her own son was; when my world felt like it was completely falling into an endless space because everyone would see me as the class clown, I was meant to be a king.

High school was the absolute worst. I was constantly picked on for acting feminine. I was always titled the unspeakable 'gay' that is meant to be used as an insult. I was hurt; I couldn't be gay, could I? The world would never accept me for liking the same gender because we live in a hetero-normal society that anything other than that wouldn't be accepted. You see I kept telling myself I couldn't be gay that it was wrong. I remember so clearly that one day I decided to give 'Joyalot' another visit. Because my world was so glum and the people surrounding me were so judgemental I sprawled across my bed my eyes were closed so tight that they could have burst at any moment.