Don't let the Bed Bugs Bite ~ A Janiel Fanfiction

Chapter Six

Sleeping last night was almost impossible. I was restless for my mind was buzzing with so many thoughts, my body surging with so many feelings. Despite getting little sleep I don't think I've ever felt so awake in my whole life, so charged with energy. I know where I need to go, I know where I need to be, I just need to head there. It all seems so simple; I burst in and see him, meet him and my world will be a bundle of joy... but it's not that simple. He's not awake. I'll walk in and meet a guy I've never met in person before and see him resting in a coma, eyes closed, mind resting, nothing.

It's almost a daunting thought but I can't rest on it now, not after all of this time. For months I've astral travelled and seen him, floating in the middle of the road, his presence lingering in my every thought. He has been in my life without actually being there at all. It is a strange thought that I can envision such a strong connection with someone that I have never formally met in person; it is something I want to remain in my life. Getting up, I waste no time to shower, throw on a decent set of clothes and make my hair look presentable. It reminds me of when I prepared for my audition for the movie; no matter how much I dressed myself in nice clothes and covered my hair in product, it couldn't cover my nerves. Oh, my, god... the movie... I totally forgot about the movie... I forgot to let my director know...

Fumbling with my phone I quickly dial his number, "Look I can explain..."

"Explain what?" Oh... wait, what? Shouldn't he be mad I'm not there for a shoot?

"I know where you are."

"You do?" I swallow a hard lump in my throat. He must know all of my secrets or close enough to it. Maybe my director asked Meghan and David where I am. Perhaps he asked a certain someone I do not want to mention let alone think about, maybe... I should stop panicking and pay attention to what he is saying.

"Yeah, I'm so sorry to hear about your Mom, I hope she gets better soon."

"Oh uh, thank you," I have no idea what's going on but I'll play along with it. The hard lump in my throat disappears as an odd relief washes over me.

"Take all the time you need, we have enough scenes and we don't think we need that last one anyway. Trevor let us know about your hard situation. Take care Joey," with that the line cut off. Well that was unexpected.

Shaking my head in disbelief a small chuckle escapes my lips, it almost seems too good to be true. The giggling can't help to be mixed with a ferocious beast that wants to cry and destroy everything in its path. He mentioned the unspeakable name; Trevor is practically my version of Voldemort. After the damage he caused he tried to fix it by helping out my situation, which he does not even know the full extent. I suppose he assumed I just dropped off the face of the earth and was covering for me. I mean, sure it's a big help but that doesn't mean I'll forgive him any sooner or let him have second chances. I raise my hand to feel the heat which still rests on my forehead, festering in its derisive pit. There's no time to stop. As my feet lead me to the front door I wave goodbye to my mother. She replies with a simple nod and smile; I love this understanding side of her. I really should drive or catch some kind of transport but walking seems appropriate, I need time to calm my nerves. It's really not that far of a walk, only about fifteen minutes. With each step comes each new thought, each new anticipation and each breathe I want to hold onto until I have to let it go. I'm nervous and there's no denying it, but I'm also eager. I've seen him for months but have never heard his voice. Is it silky and smooth like chocolate? Or rough and deep like a forest? Will he even wake up? I might not even hear his voice... So many questions spin around in my head like an endless spinning top.

The sun is shining brightly today; it must know it's a good day. As my feet take each gradual step though, my mind can't help hanging on the thought of Trevor. It's ruining my good day. I don't want him to be there, it's not fair. He hurt me, stripped me down to a vulnerable child and then took my only lollipop away. Now's not the time to think about him though. Now is the time to just walk.