sebastian stan imagines [ completed ]

Bucky x reader - Sleep Deprived

A/n
Im so sorry That it took so long!!! This was based on a request by @omagurshh3y
I really hope that you like it!!!
~Hopie
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(25th Feb 2016)
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You looked up at the door sharply when you heard a little, timid knock at the door. You put your iPad down and turn on the blue bedside lamp with illuminated the room in a soft, warm turquoise tone. The little knock sounded at the door again, this time however it was a little but panicky. You pushed the covers off your legs and gingerly placed your feet onto the cold, wooden floor. You grabbed your navy blue sweater and put it on as you walked towards the door. You untucked your y/h/c hair before opening the door.

The sight caused you to let out a little gasp.

There stood a disheveled, shaken Bucky with red tear marks splattered across his ghostly pale cheeks. His usually clear blue eyes now had a tired and agonising look about them. His hair was standing up at odd ends as if he had been tugging at it. He was heavily slouched and had a thin sheen of sweat that glazed his face. His eyes were trained down at the floor, cloudy with unshed tears. His long, dark eyelashes were clumped together.

"Oh Bucky," you grabbed his shoulders and pulled him into your room and brought him into a bone crushing hug. With your foot, you shut the door and then you tenderly stroked his sweat drenched hair. He burrowed his face in your shoulder and let out heart breaking sobs.

"Oh Bucky, what happened? Another nightmare?" You muttered softly into his ear. He nodded. You breathed out a sad sigh and pulled him onto your bed, so that you were both lying down embracing. "Tell me Buck, what happened?" You rubbed his cheek as he looked at you.

"I...can't say". He eventually stuttered. "James, we have talked about this; tell me what happened. What was your dream about?" You said a bit sternly, but still soft enough not to startle him. "It...wasn't a dream. It was memories." He caved in a told you. You looked slightly confused.

"Why can't you tell me about your memories Bucky?" "Because you'll hate me or pity me, or both."

"Shhhh, I could never hate you. We're BFFs remember". You raised your eyebrows when he chuckled. "What? So are we not BFFs anymore then Barnes? Is that what you're trying to say? Huh?" His only made him laugh harder and you joined in.

"So the memories; spill." You made sure that he still knew that you weren't going to go of the topic anytime soon. He took a deep breath, wiped his eyes clean from tears, and explained what visions from his past had been torturing him and inflicting agony that night.

"I was in Washington, well not I, it was him. He got told that he had a new mission: to assassinate some agents from SHIELD. He was working for HYDRA at the time. His mission was to track down three agents and kill them to stop them uncover HYDRA as they were very close to doing this. I... I mean he killed two of those agents fairly easily, but not the third. The third was smarter than the others, but kinder. So a few months after he had tried to kill her, she let him into her life.

"She showed him the beauty of life, the beauty of love and friendship. And he started to feel: maybe he shouldn't kill this girl after all. But he was scared of the consequences that would bring. He would be: electrocuted, whipped, wiped, beaten, starved, maimed. All this would happen if HYDRA found out. Then they would kill her anyway, but this death would be long and slow."

Bucky stopped talking and stood up from the bed. "What you're saying is that you're going to kill me?" You raised an eyebrow. "I have to, HYDRA will find out otherwise and kill you and I'll be made back into the creature." He looked down at his feet. "HYDRA will never get you. You're safe here. Everyone is protecting you." You slowly stood. "But how can they protect me from myself? From the abomination within me?" He said painfully.

"Bucky you don't mean any of this. You haven't slept very well at all for ages. You're just tired and your brain is just muddled." You spoke softly and calmly, trying to ignore the thumping in your chest. "No! I'm a monster! I killed people. I murdered so many. Y/n I tried to kill you. Many times. I...I...I" his sentence rambled off. "James it's okay. Just breathe, it's okay. You're not a monster. Bucky please calm down, it's okay." You stood up and hesitantly placed your hand on his jittery frame.

He whipped his head to look at you and stared into your eyes with a scared, wild look about his. "Buck, listen to me. It's okay. Just breathe. Breathe. It's okay." You pulled him into your chest. Suddenly this hostile demeanour that he had worn only moments ago had crumbled away.

He clutched onto you like you were his last lifeline, you were. He hadn't told you but you were the reason that he was alive. He hadn't slept since he had an episode where you woke him from a nightmare and he attacked you. How could he hurt you when coming out of a nightmare  when he couldn't have nightmares. He loved you so much. You were his everything: his friend, his family, his secret keeper. You were is complete all.

You lay on your bed, pulling him down again. You wrapped your arms around his exhausted body and felt him rest his head on your shoulder. "I can't go to sleep." He breathed out. "Why?" You stroked his fluffy hair. "I'll get a nightmare". He whimpered like a child. "Shhhhh. Nothing is going to hurt you Bucky. I'm here." You kissed the top of his head. "Promise". He mumbled. "I solemnly swear." "That I'm up to no good". Bucky ended. You chuckled. "I see that you have been reading Harry Potter". "Uh huh, I love you y/n." He drowsily slurred. "Say again Bucky?" You froze.

But He didn't answer. He had fallen asleep. Safe in your arms.

"I love you too Buck". You softly kissed his lips before allowing sleep to take over.

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A/n
Hi!
I'm sorry that that was so bad!
I'm trying to get writing again and is so sorry that I've taken so long and it was so bad!!!

Anyway,
Love you all.
~Hopie
💜💙