Cold Night Boy (Larry au; BDSM)

~ 15 ~

A/n:
You better get a lot of tissues. Mentions of drugs and death.

* 10 years ago*

"Hush, little baby.."

Her soft voice chirped up, seeping through the room as she sung.

"Hush, little baby, don't say a word-" her voice broke at the end of the sentence as Louis' baby blue eyes opened. They were sparkling with so much trust and love it broke her heart, all over again. Louis constantly reminded her of him. Of her first lost child.

"Troy, I can't -" she sobbed out quietly, biting down on her lip quickly again to keep silent. She didn't want to cry in front of her baby.

"Mommy.. Sing.. Pwetty voice.." Louis giggled shyly and sat up, pressing a wet kiss to his mommy's cheek before he yawned and cuddled down again, taking her hand and holding onto it.

"Sometimes I'm afraid you'll leave me.." He whispered quietly after his mother took up singing the lullaby again. Her voice stopped suddenly.

"We won't.. W-we always gonna be with you, Louis", Jay whispered and leaned down, pressing her lips to Louis' forehead, "sleep now baby boy. Mommy and Daddy love you.."

"Louis loves mommy and daddy too.." The little six year old boy said softly and closed his eyes, smiling happily before he drifted to sleep.

"Jay.." Her husband whispered and looked at her softly, "come.."

"This is all your fault!" She hissed before she ran out of Louis' room, whimpering as her heart broke all over again.

She's already lost one child.

"He has a better chance of surviving without us, Jay. For fuck's sakes I just want the best for him."

"Then you should've stopped. W-we should've stopped. W-why didn't we?" She spun around, eyes wide as she looked at her husband.

"Because we both loved it, baby.." Troy whispered, smiling as he stepped closer to his wife, tipping her chin up.

"We still do.. Getting that feeling of pure ecstasy. You loved getting high with me, don't you.."

Jay's eyes teared up, a soft whimper escaping her lips again.

"I may have loved it, Troy. But I never thought I'd loose control.."

Her hands started to shake lightly, the first symptoms of detoxification were starting to show.

"I love Louis. I loved Niall and I still do.." She shook her head, tears threatening to spill out of her eyes, coating her cheeks in another layer of wet stains.

"It was a mistake."

"What?" Jays eyes narrowed lightly as she looked up at her husband, gritting her teeth together.

"To get kids."

"You're such an asshole. You never cared about them. I did.. I was there when they took their firsts steps, I was there when they said their first word. Where were you? Gone. High on your stupid drugs!" Jay yelled before she fell silent again, running a hand through her hair.