Flower Boy

Chapter Twenty Two

I bolted up in my bed, gasping as tears ran down my cheeks. I looked to the corner of the hospital room, but no one was there. I let out a breath. Just a dream. I wiped away the tears furiously. Just a dream. I looked out the window at the bright, beautiful day. Just... Reality. I heaved a heavy sigh again and forced myself to keep my mind away from Donavan when I heard the door open. I looked up at the doctor walking in, her smile warm and kind.

"Hello, Rosalena. How are you feeling today?" She asked me in a soothing voice. I simply shrugged.

"We'll be doing some last little check-ups, and then you'll be back at home. That'll be a relief, huh?" She asked, sitting in the chair next to the bed. I nodded again. She kept the smile on her face as she proceeded to check my heartbeat, ears, reflexes, eyesight, and throat. After she threw away the popsicle stick, she sat back down in the chair. She looked at my for a few seconds in silence, then began speaking again.

"Rosalena, can I call you Rosa?" She asked, and I nodded.

"Rosa, can you tell me... What was your relationship with Donavan?" A small ice shard pierced my heart and I looked at her, tears forming behind my eyes. I opened my mouth to speak and found that my voice was really weak.

"Donavan..."I began, and I cleared my throat when my voice caught.

"Donavan was my fiancée. We had gotten engaged the day he died." I whispered, the words falling out of my mouth and disappearing almost too quiet for the doctor to hear. Still, she nodded.

"Is there anything else you'd like to tell me about him?" She asked, still using her gentle voice. I shook my head, and she nodded again. Getting up from the chair, she sighed and looked down at me with soft, sad eyes.

"Rosa, I know that this hurts, and it's hard for you to understand, but I think the best thing now would be for you to try to keep moving your life forward. You should stick with your friends, and make sure not to dwell on the past too much, okay?" She looked to me for a response, but I just couldn't nod like I had before. To move on? I didn't know how. Donavan had been with me for most of my life. I couldn't just move on like that. She sighs.

"I hope you'll consider it." She tells me, and I simply stare ahead blankly until she leaves the room.

About thirty minutes later, the nurse came in with some clothes that she told me James sent in. I changed out of the hospital gown into the jeans and t-shirt that she had handed me. I walked out of the hospital room dazed. James was waiting in the lobby for me. He didn't say anything to me, but silently put an arm around my shoulders. He had more wrinkles than I remembered, and his eyes were filled with a tired sadness that is impossible for me to understand. We walked in silence to the car, and silence filled the air on the drive back home.

Finally, we got back home, and as we stepped into the dark house, James pulled me into his arms. I wrapped my arms around his back as tears fell on my shoulders.

"I-I'm so glad you're okay." He said, sobbing quietly. I rubbed his back up and down, unable to say anything. I wished there was something I could've said, something to help him, yet nothing. My mind was almost blank, except for one thought. But Donavan isn't.

"James... When is the memorial going to be?" I asked slowly, trying to find my voice. He pulled away from me.

"We'll see. I haven't scheduled anything. I was waiting for you to wake up." He said, his voice hoarse. I nodded.