Mhen

VII.

"Don't cry because it's over, smile because it happened."

Hindi ko isusulat 'to kung di to importanteng parte ng buhay ko.

This is one of the highlights. 

The day i conquered my fear.

Fear of losing her.
Fear of knowing the truth.
Fear of getting hurt and hurting somebody.

I was a weak person. I was always carried away by other's opinion.
I never stood for myself.
I was nothing. 

 Di ko matatanggi na hindi 'to ang gusto kong ending, t'is is hurtful in my part.
But suddenly, pain became a friend, as i'm crying gumagaan ang pakiramdam ko.

Maybe because i stood for myself
I fought and I faced my fears.

Not to sound Masochist, but pain is a friend.
Pain helps us to understand that there is something more.
Pain reminds us that we're alive. We are alive, we have something to live for. We have a reason.

Pain wakes us up. 
We, daydreamers.

Reality is harsh, it doesn't have any thoughts of our feelings. 
Gagawin nya ang gusto nyang gawin.
Pero yun mismo ang maganda sa realidad, walang pagpapanggap at walang pag-aatubili ka nyang sasampalin. Isang sampal, pag sinampal ka, may dalawang pwedeng mangyari, Iilag ka o tatamaa't masasaktan ka.

This time, masarap masampal ng katotohanan.

This helped me turn my head away from daydreaming.
And face the other side.

Masakit, mahapdi pero kailangan.

So enough with the dramatic literary part.

Wala na si Mhen. I totally lost the battle.
They're happy. and i should be too.
They deserve to be happy, so do i.

The flower i love belongs to another person.

I just hope he's a good person. But nevertheless, she picked him over me. and I respect that.

Mhen is a smart person, she can decide for her own good.

I want them to be happy. 

Deep inside there is pain, i know. But that pain woke me up.

This is not a fairy tale story. 
Walang direktor na mag c-cue kung kelan tayo darating at kung anong mga dapat sabihin.

We are on our own. God guides but we have free will, we decide our fate and God approves or decline it. He'll offer you choices, choices that will make us a better person.

But sometimes, pinipilit natin ang mga desisyon and God has no choice but to let us feel pain.
To remind us that something better is waiting for us, If we only learn to be brave enough and trust Him with all our hearts.

The past years I've been waiting for the answers to come.
All those time, i was worried. I overthink a lot. 

and now that they are answered, although di yun ang expect kong sagot, i felt relieved. 

Relieved that i can continue my life knowing i have no doubts, no questions or whatsoever.

We win some, we lose some.

That's life. Be thankful we're alive and we have an incoming battle ahead of us.

So Be strong. Be Pong. 

-John Paul Lopez