Kagehina - What love's suppose to feel like

Chapter three - Fix me

That night Kageyama had a hard time sleeping, too many thoughts floating around in his head.

What if I am gay? Do I like.. men? With their abs.. and their hair.. and ass..

"Damn it.." He turned the other way in his bed and flipped the pillow to the cold side.

Okay.. It may just be a phase. I've heard that on TV.. Yeah.. I mean boobs are nice right? Floppy, bouncy, bags of meat, no.

Kageyama looked down and the accident of a boner had completely died from thinking of women. Damn it! Damn it!

I'm really not the person, I had no idea that I was that kind of person. It seemed so distant. Like homosexuals.. I thought they were so different. I had a totally different picture of gay people in my head. That image scared me.

2 AM in the morning, Kageyama couldn't close his eyes without Hinata popping up in his mind. He imagined Hinata doing stuff to him.. Touching him.. Teasing him.. Loving him..

He mentally slapped himself.

Stop! You are just really confused! Go to sleep now and forget about all this!

But Hinata wouldn't leave his mind for one second. It was annoying.. yet amazing.

Kageyama tried so hard to think of something else but failed just as hard. At last, he sat up straight in his bed and threw the covers on the floor. Breathing heavily.

Damn it!

---

Next day in school Kageyama sat in his corner, as usual, he ignored as many people as he could. He didn't feel well at all due to the lack of sleep; his head felt fuzzy and his vision was blurry. Visions and images of Hinata literally haunting him.

"I got to get my mind on something else" Kageyama thought as he entered the classroom for another uninteresting class.

Lunch came by and Kageyama sat alone on the roof as usual. He poked his food with the chopsticks, he wasn't hungry at all. He just felt really depressed for some reason.. these past days have felt.. very weird..

"Oi! Kageyama!" Tanaka burst out from the roof door and matched up to him.

"What do you want, Tanaka-senpai?" Kageyama said and put the food down, avoiding eye contact.

"Yo, listen man, you've been weird lately so how about this; I can get you a super hot hook up tonight. You down?" Tanaka clung his arm around Kageyamas neck.

Deep down Kageyama really didn't want "a hot date" right now, he had way too many things on his mind for that. But this could be good for him. Maybe getting his mind out of the gutter, getting his thoughts straight. Hopefully.

"Okay sure" Kageyama said with a hesitant voice.

"Her name is Haruka, she'll meet you outside the school at the end of the day. Thank me later" Tanaka said and proudly sat down beside Kageyama. "Oh come on man, what's with that gloom?  You're totally getting laid tonight" Tanaka said to Kageyamas face expression and punched his shoulder.

"Yeah.." Kageyama said and tried to look excited, keyword tried.

"You're weird. Anyway, see ya!" And Tanaka was gone from the roof, finally.

Great, a hook up with a girl.. I hope she's pretty and.. can get me on other thoughts.. Kageyama thought and packed the rest of his lunch back in his bag and went for class.