Kagehina - What love's suppose to feel like

Chapter twenty three - One hell of a night

Matches, training, volleyball, volleyball! Unending love for not only the sport, but everything surrounding it. Friends, loved ones, rivals. Family and supporters. Arenas full of people, shouting our names. Sweat, bruises, water bottles, rolled ankles and broken fingers. Many people want to climb to the top. Many people want to be like us until they see what it takes. But going through all of this has made me stronger, I wouldn't change it if I could.

I'm just waiting for that one day, when I'll wake up, and I've imagined all this.

I'll wake up and all this was a dream.

I'll wake up, and I never convinced my friends in middle school to play volleyball with me, I never played against Kageyama that one time long ago in the tournament. I never attended Karasuno high school and, I never got to know all of these wonderful people I know today.

I never got to meet Kageyama and we never started going out. I never met Kenma, that time I got lost. Kenma never fell in love with me and Kenma never got depressed. Kenma never tried to jump..

I bet he's thought about this too, Kenma.

What if he never met me?

What if I never became the decoy of the team? I would've never seen Kageyama develop the way he does. I would've never learned these things about myself, how I cope with pain and how I handle love. I can't think of myself without him. Oh Kageyama, sometimes I love him so much it hurts. I can't imagine what it must be like for Kenma.. Oh Kenma..

After having his boyfriend kiss him good night, Hinata slept for a good three hours before he woke up again. This time at sunrise. Usually, he could control these thoughts, they visited in his head every once in a while. Not anxiety, not self-deprecating thoughts, just very existential thoughts. 

Not saying they were pleasant, in the middle of the night at least they were just bothering. Hinata turned the pillow to the cold side and tried to fall asleep once again.

The morning after that eventful night, at the breakfast table nothing was out of the ordinary. Sugawara and Daichi seemed moderately uncomfortable, eyeing Kageyama like he'd seen something he wasn't supposed to see. They whispered to each other and tried to act normal.

Nekoma were already in the breakfast hall when Karasuno arrived, most of them had finished their meal and left, but not all of them. 

Kenma sat furthest away from them, he was also quiet, but another kind of quiet. I saw Kuroo try to make him eat. Kenma refused. He didn't even lift his look from his lap to make eye contact with anyone at the table. He looked miserable. God, I wish there was something I could do. I feel somehow, guilty.

Nishinoya reached over Hinata for the butter. "Excuuuse me!" barely grabbing the package of butter, taking up all of Hinatas personal space.

Halfway through the breakfast, Kageyama stumbled in with the worst bedhead of the century. Even Akashi couldn't resist giggling a bit. Of course, Kageyama got defensive about it. You could see the dark circles under his eyes. He didn't seem to have slept very well.

Come to think about it, no one at the table looked very well. Almost everybody had dark circles under their eyes and the energy was at least half its usual level.

Suddenly, Daichi cleared his throat the only way he knew how; very loudly.

"Everyone in the dining hall!" He said with a demanding coach-like voice. "Tonight after dinner, I and a few others will be going down to a karaoke bar in town!" Even the remaining Nekoma's and some Fukurodani's stopped what they were doing and listened.

"The bus leaves at 18.49, meet me and Suga at the bus stop at 18.30! That is 18.30 on the dot, everybody!" Making cups around his mouth so the whole diner could hear, then he sat himself down again. Silence followed, but soon enough, the volume returned to normal.

"My, my, seems like a splendid idea to spend the evening!" Oikawa Toru exclaimed from the door.

"If you aren't gonna sing Bubblegum Bitch, I'm disappointed" Iwaizumi said behind him and pushed Oikaways head. The two of them and a few others from Aoba Johsai entered the diner.

"So what if I am?!" Oikawa stated, a little offended by how predictable he appeared.

"Do you really want to join the dudes from Karasuno? You're making friends with the enemy, dude" Kindachi spat and pushed himself to the front of the tiny group.

"Well, you know what they say.." Oikawa smirked.

"Oh no.." Iwaizumi sighed, he knew Oikawa too damn well.

"Keep your friends close, but your enemies closer"