Walking Past Him

The Second Confession.

Two years down, thousand more to go. Two years of loving him and yet, I was just a hi-bye friend. It felt bad you know? The one who is everything to you considers you nothing. The only thing that could help me get to know him was- his best friend or my partner. Look at life... It's so easy yet difficult. It was so easy to know him, to like him but so difficult to get him. It was too easy to need him but so hard to possess him.

Tine flew and soon I became a good friend to the best friend. Sounds relaxing eh? Well, No. After getting close to her, I learnt that she too has feelings for him. So, one boy and two girls. Ofcouse, she had a better chance. He knew her, they were so close. And one day, it happened. The confession. It was only three of us and that very moment, she told him. She told him that she liked him.

It was killing me inside. It was so obvious that he would date her. She was perfect, like the girl he wanted. She was skinny, beautifully tanned, sweet, pretty, was good at dealing with people and was good at studies. Why would anyone leave such a girl? Silent sobs filled my mouth. It was tearing me apart and yet there I was sniling and trying to tell him how much he meant to her. Sounds difficult? It was breaking me fron within. They would date and my world would come crashing down. Everything would be over.

And what happened. Ofcourse a world came crashing down. But no, it was not my world. It was hers. He abandoned her, left her. He cut off every connection with her and there she was alone. No, not alone. She was with her feelings for him. He weirded out as much as he could.

Soon I realised it was a pattern. Whenever he got to know that anyone liked him, he would stop talking. He felt it would generate more feelings if he continued to talk. Silly? Yes, he was. And did I stop after learning this? No, I did not.

So what did I do? I let the fire within me burn a little more. It burnt so bright that it burnt my insides a little. Just a little. Did it hurt? Oh! It did. Shhh.. It was a secret. No one knew.

The passion to become close to him engulfed me so tightly that I chose to never let him know what I feel. And this is how started the tale of the unsaid love, my first love.