Walking Past Him

The Minor Heartache.

'You know why do I like to work with you in skool projects so much? '
'Umm... No? '
'Because you are so creative. You are so dedicated to your work and are so hardworking. The moment you get to know about the project, you start working on it. '

Sounds so good right? After all who would not like their crush to praise them like this? Butterflies stormed all around my stomach. The way he made me feel, it was just so different. No one else ever had so much power over me. His voice came out so soothing and so caring, I could have passed out there and then on the phone. How many times in your lifetime would a greek god show his concern for you? Rarely. So I enjoyed the moment as much as I could.

Soon, we started talking about other things. He started talking about my personality and how I was so good but I kept hidden under my own shadows.

'Do you know you are such a good person? You should express yourself more. You are so selfless and helpful. You just need the right people to be with.'
'Thank you but what do you mean?'

And ladies and gentlemen, it all started here.

'I mean... You should be like her. She is so perfect. She knows how to talk to people so confortably. She is good at studies, art and yet she has time for every other thing.'

'Yes, you are right. She is very good. I think my mother is calling me, so I will just hang up.'

The very next day, all my doubts were cleared. He had feelings for her.

Oh! Let me introduce you to the third her of our story. She was one of the people I had known for nine years already. The perfect girl you want. She was good with everything and every boy was attracted to her. She was sweet, helpful,caring and blah blah blah. In short, she was thousands time better than me. She was not popular or the mad desperate bitch type. She was just who she was. A simple angel and no wonder he liked her now.

I knew it that he will never like me. We all know it. This was not a cheesy romantic movie or book in which the girl has some social issues and the boy she likes helps her and then they live happily ever after. Oh no we are no where near that. This was reality. Let us just face it okay? He was all I ever wanted but I was nothing.

After feeling a pang of hurt, with rational thinking, I should have moved on and forget everything I had for him. And what did I do again? Yes, I still never moved on. I let him hurt me. And the fire? Now I could feel my body burn. I could feel everything burn a little and it did hurt. It hurt alot.

Even after a few weeks, it hurt. Hell it even used to hurt when he lost his feelings for her. She was very good. A good friend but to be honest, I was jealous at times. She could easily have everything I ever wanted. She could easily take everything I struggled to have.

And this, my friends started the journey towards not feeling good enough.