Fighting Hawaii

1) Queen of Everything

"Anna Banana Bradstreet, it is after eight o'clock in the morning! You better rise and shine before I come up there and do it for you!" I wince slightly at my mother's voice as I roll over in my bed.

God how I hate that nickname I think to myself, why is it that everyone in my family feels the need to rhyme Anna with Banana every time they call me? I'm almost a legal adult and I feel like they are  always going to result to that nickname; even when I'm senile and wear an adult diaper. Scratching my back and stretching, I get up and swing my legs out of bed.

"The Queen of Everything has risen and shines ever so nicely!" I shout in my best British accent, hoping that my groggy morning voice is heard down the stairs.

Getting up before noon should be a crime in my book which is why I have concluded that parents have never been young. "Well your majesty, time to see if today is the day that you wake up drop dead gorgeous!" I speak coyly to myself, as I walk to my vanity mirror.

It takes a minute for my vision to focus until I blindly find my glasses on the dresser, "First thing's first Bradstreet," I say to myself as I locate my hair brush," Get some new contacts so you can ditch the frames."

Silently I stare at my mirrored self and began my morning routine of probing and prodding; it's such a hard task to get ready in the mornings! Sometimes I envy my brother and all people of the opposite sex. All they need to do is make sure that they have on clean underwear and everything else just falls into place for the day.

I look at myself and take it all in; crazy brown curls, matched with big, tired chocolate brown eyes. I always joke and say that I'm the spitting image of a 16 year old boy, especially with my glasses on...but hey I'd also say that I'm a pretty cute teenage boy, too! I mean if I were a guy, I'd totally date me. Is that weird? If not, it does say a lot about my love life; or the lack thereof.

I sit at my vanity in my pajamas getting ready for my day and listen to all the commotion going on downstairs. Mom is probably getting breakfast ready while Frank just sits there, looking stupid; drinking our coffee. When it comes to men my mother should wear creep repellent because that's all she seems to attract. Her boyfriend Frank is the overlord of weirdos.

I snap out of my silent reverie and push away from the mirror, if I don't get downstairs my mom will come in and hound me for my "laziness". I swear that she has never been young so she doesn't value the preciousness of sleep, especially on my last weekend of summer vacation.

I give up an just tie my frizzy hair back as I head down to my kitchen, I can hear my family's voices already. You know that stereotype that all Hispanic and African American families are loud? Well my family is that stereotypical loud African American family, but I can tell you that that is one of the only black things about us.

My mother is busying herself at the stove in her neat work uniform, not a curl on her head out of place nor a button unbuttoned (how she's perfect every morning I don't know). She's basically always perfect and according to anyone who I've ever met, we look exactly alike.

I have a hard time believing that anything about my awkwardness translates into gorgeous though. Her famous chocolate chip pancakes are calling to me as I walk into our large kitchen. 

"Good morning peasants, I have arrived let breakfast commence!" I announce with a smile as I smack my little sister Sidney in the head before I sit.

"Mom did you see that?! Anya just hit me and I just did my hair!" Sidney yells.

"Please, your hair is fine Sid. I was only kidding, what's wrong....Can't take a joke?" I grab a chocolate chip when I catch my mother's warning eyes. "Sorry mom."