sapriculous

looking back, moving forward

Back then I always was alone, craving every chance to leave home.

All I wanted was a friend, a friendship that would never end.

I had this perfect image in my head,an ideal that had long since been dead.

I tried so hard to make those illusions reality, distracted myself with petty fantasies.

But then that all changed, with a bit of friendship my whole perspective was rearranged.

What's the point in exclusive friendship when there is so much love to share?

I now know it's not about how loved you are, just about spreading your love everywhere.

Now I know what is like to truly mean it when I say I'm always there.

Now my only concern is whether they know how much I care?

Back then I was chasing all the wrong things.

Focusing too hard on gaining attention instead of spreading my own wings.

When my confidence kicked in it was far too strong.

After so long I humbled myself and started to wonder if I belonged.

Through the shame and guilt I learned to admit it when I was wrong.

Now I switch from perfect confidence to crippling doubts.

I try to narrow down what I can add to my life and what I can live without.

I try to learn when to hold my tongue and when to let it all out.

I learn how to struggle though all my pain, I learn to appreciate the rain.

I am taller now, stronger now, and I'm no longer alone.

But more importantly my true colors I've now shown.

I've started to accept myself, learned to face all my fears.

All this, and I've only been alive for just fifteen years.

Imagine what you'll know tomorrow, when you learn to cope through sorrow.

And you reach out to the sun, or forgive yourself for all you've done.

This is hardly the end, you've only begun.