sapriculous

Problem Child

I'm not allowed to have problems, no really it's true.

"She just wants attention" is what they are all thinking when my problems show, which they sometimes do.

Most people never seem to believe me, they never see these tears I shed.

My problems are not real, they say, it's all just in my head.

When I'm beaten or I'm bullied, I'm never given proof.

These mental bruises have no way of showing, so I never tell the truth.

"I'm not trying to blame anybody" I say except I know exactly whose to blame.

"I mean I probably had it coming" All lies. I don't deserve this pain.

"It's just bad chemistry, I just prefer to stay away" Once again I'm placating them.

"Of course I'll help, You've got my word I'll stay." Here I am giving up again.

I can't leave because there's nowhere else to go.

I can't complain, I have no proof, so no one but me will ever truly know.

Now even having problems fills me with shame.

"She's a problem child" they whisper back and fourth giving me the blame.

Well this problem child can't hang on much longer.

I'm beaten, broken, but am I really getting stronger?

Or will this strike of lightning burn up bright then fade away?

"Oh well I'm sure I'm fine. I'll be there on Sunday."