That's me in that picture up there.
So I um just wanted to take this chapter to thank all of you guys for all of your support like reading this story and the other one. You guys truly are amazing and I love you guys. I know I already did something like this in the Mindless Behavior story, but I wanted to do another one that's more updated, and that's telling you guys about me.
So a lot of things have happened in 2015 and started in 2016 and I just wanted to share them. I don't want any hate or anything and I'm not looking for any attention and stuff like that. This is just simply a ways or my readers and any new readers about me. I've only done something like this one other time so I'm still fairly new, just bare with me.
Well first I just want to say that this whole story is going to be dedicated to my best friend Kyleigh who's helped me with a lot of stuff recently and in the past year. She's been awesome throughout everything and puts up with my shit daily. Thank you for that.
I don't want to get into huge details about everything but honestly last night was one of the first times I've seriously thought about self harming again for awhile,almost a year to be exact, and actually killing myself. I was sitting in my room on my bed bawling my eyes out and kept thinking about how no one would miss me if I went through with it, along with all the other things. I then stopped myself from getting off my bed and grabbing the razor. She was snap chatting me an it kept me preoccupied and kept my mind of it. My mom came in and asked if I was okay. Do you have any idea how tough it is to lie to your mom about something like that? Currently I'm sitting in the back of a truck going to walmart with her and her mom, Kyleigh's in the front seat singing along to Wide Awake from Katy perry and actually tearing up writing this. Getting into the bus today was a struggle to not cry and then walking into the classroom today and seeing her after last night almost had me breaking down in tears in front of everyone. I've never done that in school except for once.
There's days when I'm okay and laughing and then there's the other days where I can't even muster up a fake smile to make people believe I'm okay. Sometimes it feels like just bumping into something and knocking it over can make me cry. No it's not fun feeling like this and no one should have to, it's sucks.
I'm under so much stress that I don't want to get out of be in the mornings anymore.
On the contrary teen wolf came back on and the second episode is on tonight. I'm staying with Kyleigh and we're going to watch it. Yes in case any of you were wondering in Tag Teamed "Ky" comes from the first part of Kyleigh then in James Cook "Leigh" comes from the second part of her name. Thank you to everyone who reads the stories I post it means a lot, you guys have no idea. I'm sorry for anyone who is struggling with anything in your lives, just removed you'll get through it and it gets better. 😌 I love you guys. Xo
