Everybody falls (ON HOLD)

Chapter 6

Chapter 6

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( a week later )

"SHERLOCK!" , John woke up shouting , sweat plastered his clothes to his body , dripping down his face .

"John , John it's ok , you've having a nightmare , i'm here don't worry . " Sherlock had walked over to the sofa from his perch on the armchair and sat down next to John . 

" I'm allright Sherlock , just a nasty , that dream was . I'm allright now 'cos you're here ,  I thought you  were gone again .  " He said quietly , burying his head into Sherlocks shoulder . 

" Can we just talk for a bit Sherlock ? Just have a conversation about something? I feel like I could talk all night long "

" What do you want to talk about, i'm not very good with thinking of subjects "

" eeeeemm , tell me about your childhood "

Sherlock gulped , his childhood , he felt sick just thinking about it . Hands that hit , fists that cracked something , belts that left scars . 

He started to shake , this was the first time he had thought about his childhood since the fall . He started breathing heavily. 

" Oh god Sherlock are you ok ?"

Sherlock nodded and continued to hyperventilate . John looked terrified , but then remembered he was a doctor and got to work.

" Sherlock , look at me , your having an anxiety attack , breath deeply , thats right "

Sherlock started to calm down and John was hugging him , stroking his head in a calming way .

" you don't have to tell me about it , it's ok " 

He knew he would have to tell John about it , how would he explain the scars on his back and legs? 

" No , I...I want to " Sherlock gulped .

" you sure Sherlock ?"

The consulting detective nodded his head without hesitation .

" When...when I was about 8 , my .. my mum , she got ill , and...and that left my ....dad , to look after..me...me and Mycroft . He loved Mycroft , he was the perfect son to him , intelligent , normal acting , social skill, never set his room on fire " he said that last bit with a smirk , but his face returned serious ," but he ..he hated me , I was to different , he was ashamed to have me as his son. It all started when I dropped a vile of acid on my floor and it ate through a large part in the carpet , he came in and saw it . He dragged me ac...across the room and threw me to the floor , he took off his belt and..and.. he ..hit me with the metal bit , across my back and my ..my head . I was unconcious , and when I woke up ...he...he had locked me in the closet . After that , this became a regular thing . When my mum died , it only got ..got worse . 

He would critisize me for my failures  in classes I was bored of ,and he would critsize things i succeded in . He thought I was mad , talking to myself , staying still for hours on end  , i constructed my mind palace in that closet. 

But he'd had enough of me , so he ..he  , he put me in a mmmm...mm.ment....tal hos..hospital , I was already 16 , with Mycrofts help , I got out , I lived in many places and took up drugs . Eventually I ended up in rehab . When dad found out , he was livid , when I got out he , he beat me within an inch of my life . I'd been clean for 3 weeks when I met you , and I stayed clean ... mostly , though every now and then , the thoughts of him come back , I close my eyes and all I can  see is a belt and a closet  , I used to resort to drugs , but since you came , I rarely had to, and now I will never need to"

John didn't try to hide the tears , 

" god Sherlock , i'm so sorry  , I love you. " He hugged Sherlock feircly , and kissed him on the head ,

" bit different from my childhood . "  The doctor said with a sad smile.

" what was your childhood like John ?"

" Confusing , a bit lonely to be honest , and , well , you wouldn't want to know , it'd just upset you further "

Sherlock looked at John suspiciously, and then said . 
" John everything that happened to me is now in the past , and you know i'll eventually deduce what happened to you , but i'd prefer to hear it from you , and I think it would be easier on you ,  if you tell me "

" Can we talk about this another time ?"

Sherlock nodded . John snuggled into Sherlock and fell asleep , eventually Sherlock fell into the first        dreamless sleep he'd had in a long time .