Mabye it's not my weekend(jalex fanfic)

Postcards And Polaroids(Chapter 9)

*2 weeks later*

Alex writing to Jack

Dear Jack:)

jack I love you. please jack, stay strong. I can't stand to see you go but I know that you've left , it will be the best for you but you and I know you now how much this hurts me. I don't want to remind you as I have to keep reminding myself that you can't come back. I don't know what I'm doing with myself, mostly sitting here writing songs for you. if you ever come to visit, I must show them to you. I hope your happy were you are but also if you ever think that your losing hope I will be here, thinking of you. I don't ever want you to leave for real jack. you are my everything, I have to remind myself everyday that your better there otherwise I would come and get you straight away. I also know your not aloud phones there and they will check this letter so hey. I won't sign it me but you will know who it is jack. I miss you, school isn't as fun and I want you to be happy again. when I came to visit you said you weren't as happy but you can be even though you've left. I was just weighing you down, your bruises are fading jack and you can forget life in Baltimore. the thing i think I miss most though is cuddling, I don't know why but I want to travel all the way to you just for a hug or something cause of the way I miss you. I wanna just fall asleep in your arms and stay there forever. isn't it about 2 years till you can move? or till you get out of that stupid hospital, I hate it that you have to be there cause you didn't get treated right. I wish I was there to keep you locked up in my room all day and night away from that so you can stay close and no one can ever hurt you, ever jack. I could write to you for hours on end jack but I would rather be daydreaming about you.

just remember I will always love you no matter what you do.

A.

p.s. When is the next meet up?

Jack Writing to Alex

To A.

your letters make me miss you even more, I wish I wasn't this far, I think about you a lot and the only thing I have to remind myself of you is your letters and a few pictures I have of you on my iPod. we don't have any wifi here, only for homework and stuff cause they want us to socialise more. I spend most of my time in my room listening to music and thinking about you too much. I share my room with two people . one whose 17 aswell called Zack and one whose 15 called Matt, I hang out with Zack the most cause we both have the same taste of music and we both don't want to do anything or socialise. I don't think anybody knows about 'us' yet, or my sexuality , I hope not ,people get teased badly here. All I have told Zack is I have a friend at home who I'm really missing, I'm not sure if he has anyone out of here so we try not to talk about that. Matt isn't usually in the room, I dunno where he is. it's hard here cause there are no blades or anything and I really need to release cause I can't see you or speak to you and I get a letter about once a week which isn't enough. I don't know where may is, I think she has her own place but they said I've got really bad scars on the inside and out cause of my mom, I don't like calling her that, and I could have been left with things that could cause me to act out or have a problem or something. I don't think I'm that broken Alex? do you? I hope I'm not any different to what I think . I mostly hide your letters under my pillow so if I ever get sad at night or can't sleep I can read them. I don't know much about people here but that's fine cause I don't think anyone wants anyone to know anyway. the thing is I wish you could be here so we could just sit all day in my bedroom and listen to music together and cuddle. I miss that cause I really like that. I think the next time you can come up to see me is in 2 weeks or something. i will give you the details soon. hi people reading this by the way . I really miss your hair Alex cause its soft and nice and I dunno I guess I'm strange. I'm holding on for you Alex. I have to go before I start crying and everyone questions me why I have red eyes and yeah. I couldn't answer. I'm so sorry about this Alex. I didn't want to be this far from you. I actually don't care if I use your name anymore.

love Jack (:

Alex writing to Jack.

To Jack

It's been 3 weeks since I have last seen you and I'm going crazy . I really need to see you just for a second cause I can't hear your voice or anything and it's so damn bouncy and cute. I wrote more songs , damn I've got about 15 .there all pretty crap but ya know, but there for you. There's not much happening here though, kellin and Yasmin did it a few days ago, they seem happy now , never apart as always. I'm quite jealous of them but we would never be like that anyway cause of the people pushing us and stuff cause I can't help loving you. Jelly and Jamie are going pretty strong for a early relationship. I hope this long distance thing works because as soon as I get to see you your getting too many cuddling sessions just wow. I'm looking forward to it jacky. hopefully your having no trouble there :) I hope no ones giving you problems there because your too perfect for them or cause you've found someone. I still love you everyday so hopefully your thinking of me.maybe. sorry it's short I could write for years about you but I have to go to meet kellin so Sorry.

From Alex xxx

Jack P.O.V.

I can't write to Alex this week, what can I tell him? that I've fucking found someone where I am that makes me happy. shit. I feel so bad, I don't want to do this to him but I get lonely and I need company and when he kissed me it was nice, not as nice as Alex but still nice. I can't live 2 years and have someone who likes me and will be there for me without saying yes . or can I not be happy with him and be long distance with alex. I don't want to let Alex down ever. but he says he want me to be happy and what if this makes me happy. no jack, you have to tell him. tell him and see how he responds.

Alex P.O.V.

Dear Alex

I'm sorry. Alex I don't know how to say this, Alex. Zack kissed me and I kissed him back. That's all that happened. i dont know how else to put it. I can't keep this anymore, I can't believe what I've done please forgive me. I think he likes me but I will always put you first.

Jack.

I put down the letter not knowing how to feel , I should feel angry but I mostly feel like my whole world has just been taken away from me in a split second. How could jack fucking do this? I though he liked me. please no jack , jack . if he shares a room with this guy who likes him and jack kisses him back what is going to happen to the next 2 years. I don't want to think about it. I would fucking move right next to that place if he needs anything I will drive up in the middle of school I don't care. I need to go see him. I need to see if he's lying and they have done more or if he just plain downs want to be with me. I would do anything to be with him but if likes kissing another guy I feel like I'm not good enough for him and I need myself to be better. I love jack more than he knows, I don't want to fucking lose him.

I don't do anything but cry that night.