Mabye it's not my weekend(jalex fanfic)

Just The Way Im Not (Chapter 13)

Alex P.O.V.

I snuggle into Jacks chest and try and get as close to him as possible so I can feel his heart beat, it's soft and slow and very calming. I never want to leave him again, he's too amazing.

I look up at him to see him smiling right back at me, the cutest smile ever. I just laugh a little and get back to getting as close to him as I possibly can. his dyed black and blond hair in my fingers, I missed this, I missed us.

"I want to stay here forever Jack" I say looking up at him, he laughs a little back then smiles back down, looking into my eyes.

"I want to cuddle you forever Lex" he looks down at me and kisses the top of my head, we lay in silence just listening to the sound of each other breathing and it was perfect.

"A-Alex?" Jack says quietly but is looking away, looking worried.

"yeah Jack?" I smile up at him but he is too busy looking at the wall.

"Alex" he stops mid sentence and reaches for the end of his jumper and pulls it up to reveal lots of little scars, new ones. my heart drops at the sight of this , how could someone so amazing and beautiful hurt them self? I take his arm in my hand and study them, I take my other hand and stroke my finger along the scars. Jack flinches when I do this but eases as I keep going, they feel bumpy and uneven, they don't feel right. I feel my heart begin to swell up I put his arm down and turn so my face is directly facing Jacks chest, I try and make it as close to him as possible as a feel pins prick my eyes and water fall down my face, I don't want jack to see me like this.

"Why Jack?" I say into his chest.

"Alex I thought you hated me, that you would never like me again after what I did, that I couldn't we you ever again. that I was worthless Alex, that I didn't mean anything, cause I don't , nobody cares about Jack." He says , I get closer to him , as close as I could , the tears getting more frequent.

"I care about you Jack, can't you realise that." I say as loud as I can. I want him to take it in, for him to believe me.

"Alex I know you do now, but sometimes I don't think that you don't a-and " I can feel him start to cry , I bring my head up from his chest and place myself on top of him so I am straddling his chest , I then turn his head so he is looking in my eyes.

"Jack, I fucking love you and seriously , really Jack, fucking seriously, don't you ever think that I don't like you. hell! that I don't love you " i bring my head down so my forehead is on his "i will never fucking stop loving you Jack, whatever you do, it's impossible for me. I'm so glad your part of my life Jack cause my life would not be half as good as it is now if you weren't here. I love you." I kiss him but he pulls back half way through. "what's wrong?"

"Alex I have to tell you something" my heart instantly drops, what's happened? He sits up so I am sitting over him, I'm not moving. he's trying to not make eye contact with me .

"Tell me Jack, what is it?" my heart beat is getting faster by the second.

Jack P.O.V.

"Alex, I tried to leave again" I look down so I am looking at Alexs legs, trying to avoid eye contact with him, i dont want to see him sad. He does not say anything so i look up to reach his gaze, his face has tear stains on and new ones replacing them, his eyes look empty and scared, his lips are tremblalling. I should not have told him, I knew it.

"Jack,you don't need to fucking leave. Do you not undertsand how much this would hurt other people that love you, you need to live Jack. Your the most fucking beautiful person around' he falls onto my chest in a heap, crying. "Jack if you don't want to live for yourself, please live for me Jack" he wraps his arms around my arm, sobbing into it. "but why Jack? when Jack? how Jack?" he says.