Complicated

~10~

I sit on the outer campus area. Students buzz past and sit around. I sit on the concrete part of the Tarmac. I have my textbook in my hands, studying. I tuck a strand of my dark brown hair behind my ear.

I feel someone's shoulder brush against mine. I turn left to face Luke. He's sitting there. Not staring at me. I don't think he noticed I'm here. I put my hand down and shrug. Whatever. I heard what happened yesterday. Maybe this is on purpose.

The cold concrete feels nice against my sweaty palms. I look back to my textbook. I feel Luke's hand touch mine. He pulls it away and looks up to face me. "Sorry, I didn't notice you," he apologizes.

"It's okay." I want to tell him so badly that I heard him. But I can't. We are roommates. Nothing more. I need to keep it that way.

•••

I'm in my room. I sit on my bed. Looking at the pale ceiling. Luke walks out of the washroom door. In only a towel wrapped around his legs. His upper torso showing. His perfect muscles and abs are defined. We stare at each other.

My eyes linger around his body. Feeling this weird tension in my body. I need him. Now. I don't care where we are. I know now, at this moment, I want him.

I stand up, slowly. My senses don't take over. I'm just walking, until I'm two inches away from his face. I feel his breath, sending shivers down my body. He places his hands on my hips. He pulls in closer to me.

Our lips crash against each other, and move in sync. His hands linger down to my butt. I breathe heavily. His towel unwraps and falls to the ground. I pull away and take it in. I know this is wrong. I know, but it feels right.

He picks me up and lays me on his bed. I rest my head on the headboard, as he slowly slides off my jeans. He pulls the covers over our legs. He removes my shirt, and stares into my eyes.

He kisses me roughly. "Is this your first..." He trails off. I nod. It basically is. When Noah and I did it. We didn't really. The kiss Jett got heated. That's it. He touched me. That's it.

He moves down my neck and I feel the heat down there. He pushes inside of me, sharply. I let out a loud moan. "Tell me if I hurt you. I'll stop," Luke says sternly.

"Keep. Going." I breathe heavily.

•••

I fall beside him. Our loud breaths fill the room. I turn to face him and he faces me. I feel alive. He smirks at me. "Not bad..." He says. I smile back. Exhausted, I shut my eyes. "Tired?" He asks soothingly.

"Mmm..." I hum. He lets out a stifled laugh. He kisses my cheek, and wraps one of his arms around my bare stomach. I pull the covers over up onto out shoulders.

Is this how it's going to be? Friends with... Benefits? Is this even okay? No, grandma told me. And I also have Noah. But I'm an adult now. I make my decisions. With my thoughts rushing, I soon start to feel woozy and fall asleep.

•••

I wake up and blink a few times. I reach my arm over to cuddle Luke. He's not there. I bolt up. He's gone. I shrug.

I get up and put on a new set of clothes. A blue and white baseball tee and a pair of dark jeans. I slip on my black converse and walk out the door. I'm going to get food. I feel hungry, I didn't have breakfast this morning. I glance at my phone. It's 5:32 pm.

I slip out the door and lock it. I walk out into the parking lot and find my car. I slide in and start it up.

Soon I'm in front of a cute little cafe. I walk in and stop, dead in my tracks. I see Luke standing there, with another girl. She has blondish brown hair and a white tank top on. She has a feather tattoo on her arm. His hand is on her hip as they talk. He pulls her in and kisses her. My heart drops into the pit of my stomach.

I feel the tears start stinging. I really liked him. Now this. I want to exit. There's no one else here. I see Luke glance at my direction. He looks away. Once he notices me, he shoots his head back again. His eyes as wide as saucers.

I turn to run out. "Nichole!" I hear his voice. He runs behind me. Until I stop by a back alley. "Nichole," he pants. Tears streaming down my face. "I-I'm sorry. I'm so stupid, I didn't mean that," Luke says sounding like he's begging me to forgive him. I can't. I knew he'd do this.

"Luke, you just did it with me. Now you do this? I really l-liked you. I'm sorry for getting in your way," I speak and turn to leave. He grabs my arm. Oh no he didn't. He doesn't own me. That pissed me off. "Let go," I say sternly. His grip only grows tighter. "Let go," I say through gritted teeth. Nothing.

"Eva, I'm sorry. Please-" I cut him off.

"No. Just leave. Don't talk to me." I pull my arm out of his grip. I storm off.

Authors note:

Woahhhh. Stuff is getting complicated. See what I did there? Lol see u next time byeee!
xxx