Thoughts Can Kill

My lovely pillow

I hadn't realized before

How much I need love

How much I feel alone...

It was then when I cried

Like there is no one here

When I hugged my pillow so tight

While facing my fear

Fear of being alone

Fear of being rejected

Fear of having no home

Fear of having no exit

Now my pillow is my new friend

And the nights are easier to spend

My lovely pillow is always with me

My lovely pillow holds every single tear of mine

My lovely pillow knows exactly how I feel

My lovely pillow knows that I'm not fine

Cause my lovely pillow is listening to me every night

And is hugging me when no-one does really tight

It is here for me whenever I need it the most

It never judges me knowing what is like to feel lost

It hears my heart racing when I'm not okay

And has been with me whenever I pray

I pray for God to come and take me with him in peace

Or at least I pray for God, my pain to ease

And my lovely pillow has met

Many other of my friends

The sharp razor that comforts me when I'm in pain

The beautiful scissor that helps me create red rain

They let me play with them being their master

Leading me without noticing to rest even faster

-------- ---------- ----------
Hugging my lovely pillow tightly

I hold the razor in my hand sturdily

Pressing it against my wrists

I close forcefully my eyes

I'm near the end of my last painting

-This one has more blood decorating it-

I write some last words

Smile and lie down on the floor

Sign and then close my eyes

...Once and for all...