*Chapter Eleven: Corndogs, a Dying Llama, and a Sexy Canadian

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They were selling corndogs.

When I spotted the corndog stand on the sidewalk, I ran like Forrest Gump all the way to that bitch. Since that was the most exercise I’d done in years, I was completely out of breath. It felt like my lungs were balloons and a giant panda popped them with a needle. If you’re wondering how I know this feeling, I have experienced that once in a dream…more like a nightmare. Don’t worry, I had other nightmares that were more serious to balance out the evil panda dreams.

“I would like four, please,” I asked the man with the mustache, behind the stand. He told me the price in a voice that made me think that he hated his life. Couldn’t blame him, he worked at a corndog stand, in the blaring sun of Los Angeles. He handed me the four corndogs, I said thank you, and I departed away from the corndog stand. I was supposed to meet Micki and Nikki at Sunset but I hadn’t seen them yet. I had yet to fill them in on the Distant Melody details, and the Kyle details. They were late, and not fashionably late.

Only I’m fabulous enough to be fashionably late.

I took a huge bit of a corndog and made some weird groaning noise. Corndogs are like eating a unicorn horn. I then took a stroll down the boulevard. That’s a fancy sentence. Look at me using big words, I deserve a gold star.

“Alex!”

I turned around, and saw my two weird friends, coming towards me. I waved and went over to them. “Sup my homies?” I said, trying to be a gangster. I could be one if I wanted to, considering Kyle acted like one.

“Don’t ever do that again,” Nikki said, embarrassed, “ever.” She was just jelly of my swaggy.

“You know she will, “Micki replied, grabbing one of the corndogs. Nikki nodded, agreeing with Micki, and grabbed a corndog as well. As we walked down the sidewalk, my palms started to sweat. Did I mention that I hadn’t said anything about my date with Kyle, or seeing Distant Melody in an hour? Oh, I did. We stopped and sat down on a bench. It’s now or never… I decided on easing into it. Going slow so they could understand.

“I’m dating Kyle Stone and I met James Boyle,” I word vomited all over the place. Nikki and Micki just looked at me with blank faces. And then they did something I didn’t expect.

They laughed at me.

“Yeah right!” Nikki laughed.

“And I’m the Queen of England!” Micki laughed. This was getting on my nerves. I realized there was only one thing to do. All it took was a text to Leah and a question to the X Factor people, and I got a creepy grin on my face. This caused them to stop laughing. “Er, why do you look like that?” Micki asked. Normally, we’re used to each other’s weirdness but I guess I went a little creepier on the scale than she could handle.

“Come with me,” I said in a creepy, raspy voice, like a witch that smoked. They reluctantly followed me into a taxi and into the stadium, where Distant Melody was practicing.

**************************************

I guess they believed me after they met James and the other boys.

Of course, I was freaking out—along with Leah—when I met the rest of the boys. I introduced Leah to Nikki and Micki before they started to perform.

“Do you remember summer ’09…”

“Ahblafhbgflhbjkagbeahogiaelhybdgvfdhbvperituhgjnvk,” Michealla fangirled. Nikki made some weird dying pig sound. Me, you ask? I made a dying llama sound. Much different than a dying pig sound. After they rehearsed, Fredrick, Sammy, and James came up. Then suddenly, Michealla gasped.

“What?” I said, “is Voldemort here to kill us?!”

“I just realized—“ she squeaked, “YOU’RE DATING KYLE STONE! NOW YOU CAN NAME YOUR CHILD LOIS!”

“Whoa now,” I said, calming her down, “we’ve only been dating for like, a week. I highly doubt we’ll have children. He’ll come to his senses one day and be like, ‘why am I dating a loser’? Then he’ll dump me for some hot model and I’ll die an old cat lady.”

“UDYFIGBKHGVVTVFVCDESWATXYDCTFUVYGBHUNJMKPOJNIHBUGVYFCTDREXYTSWRXDCFTVGYBHZQWESXRDCFTVGYBHUNJPOKMJNHBGVFCRDESWXRCDFTVGYBHUNJIMK!” Michealla said, pointing behind me. I turned and saw…

“Your sexy Canadian has arrived,” Kyle said holing out his arms. I smiled so wide I felt my face was going to rip off and ran into his arms, wrapping my arms around his neck while he spun me around. When he stopped, I realized I was crying. I didn’t like crying.

“Shit, my eyes are sweating,” I sniffled, “what are you doing here? I thought you were—“

“Taking a break for a week,” he smiled, “yeah, I am.” I hugged him and buried my head into his chest, feeling my eyes sweating even more. I was kind of thankful for his long arms at that moment, since he could hold me tighter.

“Awe!” Michealla said, ruining the moment. We let go and walked up to Micki, Nikki, Fredrick, Sammy, Leah and James, Kyle’s arm around my waist. I could see Nikki’s disgusted face, without even looking at her. But I did glance, just to make sure I was right.

“So…” I said awkwardly. I saw Fredrick glace over at Michealla while she wasn’t looking, and I knew that look. So I gasped.

“What?” Leah asked.

“Er…” I replied, “nothing. I just thought about how I might lose tonight.” After I said that, My palms started to sweat. “JESUS! WHY MUST MY PALMS SWEAT ALL THE FREAKING TIME?” I shouted, causing most of the people there to stare at me. I laughed nervously, but the embarrassment only lasted up until Kyle laughed his adorable laugh. Even though he was laughing at me, it was still adorable. It was even more adorable since he was going through puberty, ‘cause sometimes you could hear his voice crack while he was laughing. Bottom line: his laugh made me giggle.

“I know laughing is good for the soul and all but,” Nikki said, obviously hating Kalex as a couple, “could we leave now?”

“Are you sure?” James asked, “we were thinking about brunch after we rehearsed which is right now. You guys want to come?”

“We already had corndo—OW!” Michealla was having a blonde moment, so Nikki elbowed her, making her remember that James Boyle had just asked if they wanted to go eat with Distant Melody. Michealla must’ve realized this, because her face turned red. I smirked at her, which caused me to get elbowed in the forearm. Let’s just say, I had a green/purple/black bruise in the morning.

They all nodded in agreement, but I hesitated. Kyle had just gotten there. I kind of wanted to spend time with him. But Michealla and Nikki also had just gotten there. And this was Distant Melody, and Kyle didn’t seem to mind, although Kyle just went with the flow, even if he has do pee in a bucket. I bit my lip and kept thinking.

I choose you, Pikachu!

In this case, Pikachu was Distant Melody. Besides, I’d still be with Kyle, just not alone and getting death glares from Nikki.

Oh this will be fine and dandy.

Note the sarcasm.

*****************************

I UPDATED

SUCK IT

SO JUSTIN PEED IN A BUCKET

WELL

HE WILL ALWAYS AMUSE ME MORE AND MORE EVERY DAY

NO MATTER HOW RANDOM, STUPID AND HILARIOUS IT IS THAT HE AMUSES ME WITH

GOSH, JUSTIN

WHY MUST YOU KILL ME EVERY DAY

WHYYYYYYY

“You said you love me, I said I loved you back. What happened to that?”

--Selena Gomez—Love Will Remember

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