Life of Mine. [Harry Styles]

28. Alone

Songs for this chapter:

1. All I Want-Kodaline

2. Over Again-One Direction

3. Certain Things-James Arthur

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Harry POV.

I felt numb. 

I wanted to release some sort of emotion. I wanted to cry, scream, get wasted with the boys and then cry and scream...anything. I wanted to tell Rosalyn I loved her, but I was just too scared to now. I quietly walked to my room, past my eavesdropping bandmates, wanting to be alone for the night. 

Of course, Louis knocked on the door right away. 

"Louis, I don't want to talk right now," I snapped as I opened the door. 

"You need to," he shrugged, walking into my room and closing the door. We both sat at the foot of my bed, Louis' eyes searching my face. 

"I'm okay," I lied.

"I can't believe you're even trying to feed me that bullshit, H," he laughed, a sad laugh. "I know how much you love that girl."

"I do," I admitted. There was never any point in hiding things from Louis. "And I really didn't appreciate how terrible you were to her earlier."

"I'm sorry," he sighed. "I was just so angry that she hurt you."

"I'm angry, too," I squeezed my eyes shut, attempting to fight back tears. 

"Harry," Louis moved a hand to my back. "You're going to be alright. Whether you take her back or not, you will be alright."

"I love her so much," I muttered under my breath, a single stray tear leaving my eyes. Rosalyn was everything to me. She was the one person who didn't get angry with me, but actually listened to me. She was beautiful and kind and fun and my rock. I loved her with every fiber of my being. I may have broken up with her, but she really would have my heart as long as she wanted. 

"You can always take her back," Louis reminded me. 

"I can't," I shook my head, my eyes remaining closed. "I let myself get so attached to her so quickly, and she hurt me. She broke my trust. I just...I can't be with her."

"Harry, I think she really is fighting for you, though," he argued softly. 

"Since when are you on her side?" I snapped, wiping away more tears.

"I'm always on your side," Louis patted my back firmly. "And I'm pissed off at Rosalyn. I really am. I just think she really is good for you and I hate to see you so broken, mate."

"Lou," I sighed. "Can we please talk later? I really just...I need a minute."

"Sure," he resigned, kissing the top of my head as he left. "I'm here for you if you need anything, H."

"I know, thank you," I smiled weakly. As he left and shut the door, I collapsed onto my bed, a sob wracking through my body. I wanted Rosalyn back, but I knew we would just never work. Eventually, my tears put me to sleep, relieving me of my pain. I wondered if Rosalyn was doing the same, and as I thought of my beautiful, strong, kind Rosalyn in pain hurt even worse than my own heartbreak. My biggest regret of the day was not at least telling her I still loved her. And now, I was just alone. 

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