Life of Mine. [Harry Styles]

29. Determination

Songs for this chapter:

1. Lay You Down-Matt Corby

2. Move Along-Salt Cathedral

3. DNA-Little Mix

........................................................................................................

Harry POV. 

I couldn't just sit in my penthouse and wallow in self-pity. I knew better than to let myself deal with heartbreak by feeling sorry for myself. It had nearly cost me friendships before, and it wouldn't happen again. I decided to channel the negativity inside me into music.

Liam stayed with me for days. While Niall and Louis would take me out to get drunk at nights, Liam would hang out with me during the day. We'd sit in the music room, and he'd help me write. I would be on the verge of tears all day, thinking too deeply about Rosalyn, and Liam would keep me on track. He'd let me vent and we'd turn them into song lyrics. Sometimes, I wouldn't be able to hold it in anymore, and would end up spilling tears all over the paper. Liam would hug me tightly until I stopped crying, and then bring me a fresh cup of tea. I had never been so grateful for three friends that were there for me in their own ways. 

I really missed Rosalyn. It had been nearly two weeks. The tabloids didn't care too much about her anymore, but the fans did. I tried tweeting them to be kind, but they simply told me to shut up and go make a kale salad and let them 'deal with the drama'. While I often appreciated how protective they felt they needed to be, they were hurting my favorite person in the world, and that hurt me. Rosalyn may not have been in my life anymore, but I still wanted to protect her. I wanted her to have a great life. 

"Hey, this song's a bit different," Liam commented on the bit of lyrics I had written during the morning time. "A bit less heart-wrenching."

I was beginning to come to terms with the breakup. I wasn't over it by any means. Rosalyn filled my mind completely, and all I could think of was her adorable laugh and her beautiful eyes and the way she'd absentmindedly kiss my cheek. I missed the way she'd go along with my humor and antics, rather than telling me I was being ridiculous. I missed the way she'd listen to me so intently, and the bond we shared. I wanted her back, but I didn't think she'd even take me back after two whole weeks of separation. Still, I was coming to terms with it. We don't always end up with the loves of our lives. We don't always get everything we want, no matter how hard we work to have the life we so desire. We don't always get the happy ending we so desperately wish for, but we can still strive for a decent alternative ending. I was sure I'd always miss Rosalyn. I would never love anyone more than I loved her. There was a connection so deep, it could never be broken. If she walked into my penthouse right now and said she wanted to get back together, I wouldn't even hesitate. I was such an idiot for letting her go. But it was done. I was accepting that there was little I could do about it. The most I could do was love her from afar, praying to God that she would have a good life and achieve everything she could possibly want. And that's what my latest song was about. 

"Are you starting to move on?" Liam asked cautiously, looking into my sad eyes.

"I don't know about that," I admitted. "But I'm accepting that there's not much I can do anymore. I can't just be sorry for myself forever."

"You'll find someone, Harry," Liam promised.

I already found someone. I just didn't have her anymore.

                                                                                          ~                ~              ~