Fighting [TaeJin]

Please, Just Let Me In

--Jin's POV--

I guess I never really thought of myself as gay... But being around Taehyung, I think I realized what it is like to love. I never really acknowledged my feelings for him as real until he said it. I just thought of it as another emotion mixed in with my kind of messed up head. But I do, I love him.

And that means it doesn't matter what gender you are. It means that you love them no matter what gender they are or what past they have, as long as you love them.

I walk hand in hand with Tae, trying not to think of the people around who look and whisper as we make our way to school. We both decided it is best not to hide it, and that we should just go to school as a couple, not faking it.

He said not to worry about what people would say, because they didn't matter. 'They have no authority to tell us who we can love, no one does' his words ring in my head. I continue to think about what he said as we enter school campus and Tae still looks confident.

I feel the eyes on me and I lower my head slightly, not wanting to see them. Tae turns a corner quickly, dragging me with him. I look around and there is almost no one around, but they don't seem to care.

Tae practically corners me against the wall, holding my chin up and searching my eyes. "Hey, don't worry about them okay? Remember what I said?" I nod and he continues. "I'm proud to be your boyfriend, and I love you. Don't ever let anyone tell you or make you feel otherwise."

And with that he takes my hand again and walks me to class. Classes go a usual, except for the few noticeable glances and whispers from a few people. For the most part, the teacher was talking so I couldn't hear. I just hated the burning eyes.

Once we got to lunch we were able to see all the boys together. We walked over hand in hand and I watched as their faces changed when they saw us holding hands. I assume some of them knew and some of them didn't, either way we will have to explain.

We sat down in our usual spots and they started to get really loud, excited to hear about what happened. Hobi jumped up and ran over to us, squishing us in a hug. "Look at these two!" He yelled. "Aren't they adorable?"

"Hey, what about me? Aren't I cute?" Jungkook asked, pouting that his boyfriend was admiring the new couple.

"Stop complaining, Kookie, you know I would never forget about you! Your just too adorable for anything!" He says and jumps back to his boyfriend, placing him on his lap.

"I'm really glad you two are happy together!" Jimin congratulates. I look to Tae and stand up, telling him I have to go to the bathroom. "Do you want me to walk with you?" He asks, looking up at me from his seated position.

"No, its okay." I turn and walk towards the closest building, and make my way to the outside entrance to the bathroom. I finish up and then walk out to see a group of girls that harshly pull me aside, surrounding me.

Before I could question their actions, they pushed me against a wall and started throwing accusations and questions at me. I flinched as I heard their harsh words and felt the hands holding me back.

"Is it true, are you and Taehyung together?!"
"You are going to pay for stealing our Tae!"
"I bet you were all over him, you man slut!"
"You are using Taehyung!"
"What do you think your doing?"

I brought my hands to my head, feeling the tears fall and my heart practically exploding from panic and anxiety from all the words. "You better be sorry! Stay away from our Taehyung!" They yelled, pushing me one more time before running off.

I quickly ran around the corner, where no one was and pushed my back against the wall and slid down. Hugging my knees I tried to calm down. What if they are right? I slowly calmed down and decided I had no where to go, so I took the risk of quickly walking back to the boys, hoping no one from my assaulting group would see.

I walked over and sat on the side of Tae that would make it harder for anyone to see me on. "Is everything okay?" Tae asked as he put his arm around my waist. I looked up and nodded to assure him everything was fine.

What will I do? Those people are somewhat right. I guess... I guess it is a little greedy of me to date Taehyung, since so many people like him.

-----------------

Soon after the bell had rung to mark the end of school, we were walking home together, holding hands once more. We talked like normal, only my mind was wondering a little, so Tae did most of the talking. We got home and he started to get food ready.

Within ten minutes the food was done and I had changed into some more comfortable clothes, a light pink sweater and some black skinny jeans with holes in them. We sat at the table to eat and talked some more. When we were done, I got up to wash my dish and Tae followed. I stood before the sink, cleaning our dishes and he stood behind me, his arms wrapped around my waist and chin resting on my shoulder.

"Hey, are you okay? You seem a little bothered today..." He asked as I finished and turned to him, he loosened his grip on me. I nodded, "yeah, I'm okay." And turned to walk to the couch. "Are you sure it's not about today, at school. I know you were a little unsure about it, but it was the right thing to do- show everyone about us."

I stood and listened to him, slightly nodding and watching the floor. "I know," I mutter and feel him approaching me, stopping before he gets to me. The lump in my throat thickens and he touches my arm, and puts a gentle finger under my chin, pulling me to look at him. "Did someone say something to you?" He asks quietly.

The anxiety spills out all at once and their words ring in my head. My breathing uneven- I start to panic. The urge overcomes me again and just as the tears are about to break free, I run into the bathroom and quickly lock the door.

With my back against the door, I sob and shake my head. "I'm sorry" I manage choke out through my tears. The banging on the door and Tae's calls for me ring from the other side of the door. "Jin! Please, let me help you!" He begs.

I stumble my way over to the cabinet and search through it, looking for the object I hid- in thought I would never need it again. I finally find it, running my fingers along its edge and pull my sleeves up. My shaky breath escapes my lungs and I bring the blade to my skin.

"SeokJin, please! Please let me inside! Don't do this! I'm not mad at you, I promise, just please let me help." He calls out, I assume he can easily guess what I was doing. "Please, just let me in!" I sigh in relief as the blood flows down my left arm and onto the floor. My tears come harder and my vision blurs.

I broke my promise to Taehyung.

Just the thought makes me more upset, instantly regretting my actions. I sit on the floor and listen. He quieted for a few moments then hit the door. "Dammit Jin, let me help you!" I cry harder, weakly reaching up to unlock the door from my sitting position.

The second I unlock the door, he is at my side, holding me. "I'm sorry" I say and clutch his shirt, sobbing into it. Neither one of us cared that both of our clothes had my blood on it now. I'm just so sorry. "Shhhh" Tae calms me down, and I quietly cry into him as if I could hide from the world in his arms.

"Don't ever lock me out again."

.............................