The Uncoupled Roses

16

These hormones, I tell you! 16 years of existence, I don't know if I'm too old or too young to be stupidly admiring cute guys and thinking "Something tells me we'll end up together!" Seriously, don't tell me it happens to you too, a "hello there!" from someone you just met who is good looking and baammm you start fantasizing cute moments with him. Am I the only one? But I was never serious about anything or anyone. I was just among those normal girls searching for a bit of "true love" in everyone I meet. I'm usually smiling and making jokes, chasing dogs (I love them) I used to smile unreasonable, I still do. I used to jump with happiness at small things, used to cry veeerrrrryyyy rarely, untill last August that took away a lot of things, a lot. Well, I still smile but my smile covers the fear that I have held on inside my soul(for too long), I somehow fell in love, I wouldn't call it love neither would he. But I can assure you that I fell in love with darkness. I fell in love with absence and everytime I think about it, it takes away a lot from me; re-breaks my broken parts, makes me feel like.... like I am just a box of pleasure, a fragile limbless doll, a weak bird trapped in the cage of his arms trying to break through but failing in every attempt; I crave for a wish to erase it all, I crave for redemption from the past! I'm like all of those souls searching for the reasons of their existence, and I'm searching for a reason as to why it happened to me... why me!