The Uncoupled Roses

Chapter 6

This chapter is dedicated to Shripa16 who has not only been a role model for me since school but also a great friend and my soon to be wife (wink emoji). She is an amazing writer, do go through her story NSHE.

It was difficult for me to sleep that night after those consecutive hugs, because they were set to 'Replay' mode in my brain. And my subconscious just wouldn't let go off the fact that I'd been embraced. As a matter of fact, it tried recreating everything in my mind then assembling it on the basis of the occurrence of the events. I just kept staring at the ceiling like I usually do. But this time, it felt like the pale pink walls were being splashed with imaginary colors of love. Love? That is a big word. Am I? No! But.... he makes everything seem so beautiful. Suddenly everything excites me, suddenly I don't feel that monotonous. I just feel sooo different and happy. So this is what happiness feels like....

I had to tell Auty what happened.

But she must be sleeping.

I decided to text her.

Me : Hey!

Auty: I hate you. You woke me up! I was having this beautiful dream. Go to hell Sam!

Me : 1st, You're welcome
2nd I have to tell you something but don't freak out, okay?

Auty: What what?

Me : I'll call you.

Then I narrated the entire story to her. All she said was "Omg" in varying amplitude. After I was done pouring my heart out, she told me that he was treating me this way only because I helped him and that he was bad for me, he was a "playboy" and blah blah blah. I thought she'd be happy but I think she was jealous, I know she was. I just said okay and we bid goodbye and hung up.

Auty and I have been together since kindergarten. From my first haircut, to when I first got my periods; she'd always be beside me telling me that things would get better. Somehow I fell for her words and believed in her. I could trust her blindly. Auty is a very pretty girl, brown eyes whose sparkle could drown you in them, beautifully sculpted face, cute lips and you should see the way she smiles, her slanted canine teeth would shine through accentuating her face. All these years we would help eachother out in everything. But now, I know she wouldn't say it if she didn't feel it. But... somehow I don't care about her. I have never been so happy before! I have never felt this way before. I don't think I will be sharing things with her. She'd feel like I am not respecting her advice. Jake somehow makes me feel special and wanted and this feeling is so inexplicably blissful.

I couldn't wait to meet him again. I've never ever ever felt this way before. The feeling of wanting to nestle in his arms, to look into his eyes and tell him how he makes me feel, to sleep under the open sky with billions of stars, to walk through the city in the evening holding hands. Imagination is silly, it is illusive, it is blissful but ephemeral, it is conscious surrealism. (Look at me, making  things up and talking like I know stuffs)

The next day I woke up early, we hadn't planned to study together but I just hoped he was in the library. I was praying for something that I knew wouldn't happen. But still a part of me believed I would find him there. Hope is what keeps us alive and hope is what kills us. It's the little hope that we hold on to at unlikely situations that drowns us.

The makeups and clothes and shoes were never really a matter of my concern but I wanted him to notice me, look at me differently. I wore a black t shirt, blue jeans, my favorite black converse and just an etsy bitsy tiny winy bit of mascara. An aunt had gifted me a makeup kit a few months ago. My eyes looked different.

Mum was busy with the laundry, I had my breakfast, kissed her and left.

I took a bus to college, praying that I'd see him in the library knowing that it wouldn't happen. I rushed to the library. 

My eyes started ransacking the entire area. I didn't see him but wait... there was a guy around the corner there, same glasses, similarly spiked hair, and roughly the same physique. My heart started pounding and sinking simultaneously. I walked slowly towards him and pretended like I'm looking for a book when I see his face. It wasn't Jake!! I knew he wouldn't be here.  I sat in the same seat where we'd sit and study remembering those moments. I'd never known that calculus would result to this. Suddenly I feel a tap in my back.

"Sam" a familiar voice said.

"JAKE!"