The Uncoupled Roses

Chapter 5

Just like the helpless droplets of a stream, my emotions towards him were flowing, trickling like an endless cascade. The way he flipped his hair when he tried to flirt, the way he made that 'Tell-me-more' face. The way he was sooo helplessly handsome. I drowned, fast and deep.

With every passing second, my heart was more drawn into him, his eyes, his smile, him. They say that "To let a true love unspoken is the quickest route to a heavy heart." Which is kinda relevant because the more I tried to hide my emotions the more they florished. I started taking care of him, keeping track of every small cut and scratch he got during his football practice, taking care of his studies in a way, his health, his confusions, him. It would sting, when he was sad. He now gained control of my smile, when he was happy I'd smile with him, when he was upset, well, I'd be concerned af. But that heavy-heart thing, if there was an emotion weighing machine, mine would weigh in tons. I just wished that I could carry my heart and place it in his hands declaring him, its new owner. I wanted him to know but then what if he made fun of me or declined, what if I'm not good enough? What if he doesn't have feelings for me?

Are you kidding? Look at the mirror darling. Do you think a guy like Jake would have feelings for you? The entire college loves him. Honey, you're just another girl to him. You don't even matter.

At times you try not to cry and the tears some how seem to be stuck in your throat. You try to swallow them, prevent them from shattering your imaginary 'strength', I swallowed my tears, along with the unspoken words I craved to confess, everyday. Jake was the definition of happiness to me now. I'd dream of us being together, holding hands, making memories. I wish I could make him mine.

He introduced me to his friends, one of those 'cool kids'. I felt weird but happy that I was introduced. My life was imaginary, you know? In school, I'd imagine having a beautiful family, a happy family, but the reality was that I'd pray everyday that my parents didn't fight, my dad would stop drinking soo much and my mom would stop crying everyday, they are getting divorced, soon. Where was I? Imaginary! Yeah! At home, I'd imagine having a lot of fun in college, being part of that cool "gang", going out; in reality, I had one good friend, One. And we'd go for coffee I love it this way. I lived an imaginary life, wearing an imaginary smile, I'm so used to it all that for me now, imagination is imaginary. It is the way it is now. It has always been this way. But Jake served as an aid to all of my imaginary 'everythings' he helps me smile from within, he is the reason for my happiness now.

Soon, we got our papers back and I got another A+ which will be of no worth, since dad never bothered and mum, well, she'd know just by how I'd describe the question paper. Jake got a B-, from F to B-. He almost jumped. I was more happy for his grades than mine. When the classes were over, I was walking home searching for Auty, then I felt a sudden tap in my back, it was him! In about a microsecond, I felt his body against mine, my heart skipped a beat. He embraced me, I did too. I melted in his arms, I felt complete, it was so inexplicably warm. I'm sure I looked as red as an apple by now.

"What was that for??" I stammer.

"Sam, I got a B- , it is alllllll because of you Sam. I owe you one! Thank you" he embraces me again.

*dies*

2 hugs in a row. My first hug!!!!! I was so overwhelmed, it still brings a smile to my face when I think of it. Great! Now I have a heavy, floating, beat skipping heart. I blame his eyes for it all.

Media : Alleis0n