The Uncoupled Roses

Chapter 1

For some reason roses always fascinated me, I'm not that girly I must say! Sometimes, I try to be; but then again the stupid tom boyish part of me somehow finds it's way out, leaving people perplexed as to what kind do I belong to. But roses fascinated me, not because I am a science student too. I can't take my story ahead without the intro, now can I? Hey, is what I always say! My name's Sam, in case you don't know my age, scroll to the previous page, I am a very pampered child and they tell me I sing well, and yeah I get along with people very well, I used to be such a nerd, I still am!

I might not look like I'm interested in love and stuffs like that, till date I've never made out, and just so you know the nerds also have hormones we just don't bring them into practice. Then again there is a part of me that wants to be loved, wants to be embraced, a part if me that refuses my ugliness and makes me believe that I don't have a lotta flaws. I want to be loved too, like her, like them. But the only "loved" for me is my family and my dog, Eli. It's sad because I don't look that bad!

I have a very good friend, her name is Auty and she is the only one I share my thoughts with. Because I have a lot of friends but I don't actually tell my secrets to everyone. And yeah, I love reading novels, I'd rather read then go out. And I'm a bit of a poet, but my thing is, I only write when I'm sad.

I have a lot of questions within me, you know? I wonder why would I want to fall in love for I've seen the sadness in my friends' eyes when their guys don't give them attention, I've seen them struggle for love that once shone soo bright and now is dimmer than ever! Why would I think some guys more precisly "my guy" (who currently doesn't exist) would be any different? Why would I wanna be hurt and end up crying for days, not eating and messing up my grades? Do I look that dumb? Screw it, Sam doesn't need a boyfriend!

But honestly, I've had like a million crushes never really had the guts to talk but I tried though, it went well in the 7th grade ( I nearly passed out). Okay maybe it didn't go that well.

Someday, I wish someone would hold my hand too, you know; fit in the spaces between my fingers. I wish somebody would romantically look at me and gently place my hair strand behind my ears, I wish someone would sing for me too or play a guitar. I wish. But apparently that isn't happening untill I get married. But my mum doesn't like these stuffs and dad's always too drunk to bother about anything. My dad is a drunkard since the beginning of time and I remember being in second grade when my mum told me not to tell it to anyone, but I'm used to it, I don't really care because it's always been this way. Yeah, and I also write a diary ( only when I'm sad of course) and yeah roses, I liked them for some reason.