When we pulled into the driveway it was already almost 10:00 PM. Michael and the boys have an interview tomorrow at like 6:30, buuummeerr. I think to myself as we walk hand in hand to the house. It's unlocked, in case Em needs baby stuff. I flop down on the couch as Michael goes into the kitchen.
"More food, Michael?" I ask him, eyebrows raised.
"Do you know me?" I rolled my eyes as he grabs a box of cheez-its and sits next to me. I lay my legs across his lap and turn the TV on to American Dad.
After about an hour of watching TV we both decide it's time to go to bed. As we walk to the bedroom we hear a blood-stopping scream. That's from next door. I think, face pale. Michael sprints out the door, I follow suit. We get to Em's door and barge in.
"EMERSON?" Michael calls out. We start checking every room.
"Where are the boys?" I ask, still looking. We finally found Em. He was on his knees, sobbing in front of the crib. My face lost all color and I could hear my heart beat in my ears. I walk up to the crib and saw the most crippling thing I could ever see. I stand there in shock as Michael walks over to see. He immediately grabs me and we both crumble to the floor, sobbing.
"I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry." Emerson keeps mumbling. I sit curled with my knees to my chest on the wall, staring at nothing. Michael sits down next to me, rubbing my back.
"It's SIDS. There was no way you could have done anything. It's not your fault." Michael says to Em, holding back tears, his voice cracking. He looks down at me,
"Kage." He strokes my half-braided, half-messy hair. I don't move. My brain is frozen, I'm frozen. I can't even think straight, let alone talk.
About an hour later, I've regained some of my mental ability. After the cops came and gone, my baby did the same. Why? Why us? Why my baby? I keep thinking to my self. But my realistic side kicks in. Shit happens. No one could have prevented it. That's why it's called SUDDEN infant death syndrome. I keep repeating. I hear Michael's car pull into the driveway. I lay down on the couch, scrolling down my tumblr dash.
"Hey." He says with a big sigh, setting his keys down and kicking off his converse.
"Hey." I look up from my phone, giving him a weak smile. He walks over to the couch, grabbing a blanket from the hall closet and crawls behind me. The feeling of him wrapped around me plus the blanket lull me to sleep.
I wake up to find the crib in the living room.
"Uh Michael?" I turn around to no one. "MICHAEL?" I raise my voice. I turn back to the crib and slowly look inside. Oh my god. My breathing is coming in faster than I can exhale. My eyes are burning from the tears. Excruciating pain bursts in my chest. I look into the crib to see Jakota's favorite blanket that my parents got him completely soaked in blood. The blood starts dripping from the base of the mattress. Oh my god. OH MY GOD. "MICHAEL! MICHAEL!"
I shoot up off the couch, breathing ragged. I feel Michaels hands on me. Kage. Kage whats wrong? I hear in the back of my head. My ears are ringing so loud I can't focus. Slow your breathing. It was a dream. A fucking nightmare. I calm my breathing enough to respond to Michael and tell him about the dream. He doesn't say a word, he just wraps me up against his chest. He holds me until my breathing is back to normal and I stop shaking. Fuck. Let's not do that again. After about 45 minutes Michael gets up slowly to go to the bathroom. I sit on the couch still cocooned in the blanket. I grab my phone and find three messages from Emerson.
~hey are you okay?~
~Kage, how are you doing?~
~Kage Alexander text me back or I'm gonna bust your door in and hit ya.~
*received 2 hours ago* well fuck. I call Em and he picks up immediately
"DUDE WHAT THE FUCK? WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN? I'VE BEEN WORRIED SICK."
"I'm sorry we took like a two hour nap on the couch. Relax."
"Okay but how are you doing?" He sounded honestly worried. We've never had the kind of relationship that's all lovey and nice. Our friendship consists of calling each other 'dickbutt' and telling each other to 'eat a bag of dicks' so the worry in his voice is slightly off putting.
"Fine." I reply shortly.
"Want to go get waffles?" They respond quickly.
"Sure, IHOP?" I smile.
"Obviously." He chuckles. Perfect timing. I think as my stomach grumbles.
*****
Sorry for the random gender switch of Em. I should have included his transition in the story.
