Effys story (a skins fanfic)

Is he okay? (6)

I woke up the next day with yesterday's events on my mind.
I immediately got off the cold hard plastic chair in the hospital waiting room and went the the nurses desk.

"I'm here to see James Cook, where is he?"

"Are you family?" The nurse questioned.

"As good as, I've been waiting all night" I replied politely.

The nurse hesitated for a second before replying

"Second room on the right"

I nodded a quick thank you and walked quickly to the room the woman had pointed towards.

I opened the door quietly and slipped through into Cook's room.

He was lying there with a tube running from his arm and another from his chest. He had stitches on his forehead and a swollen, black eye. He wore a blue hospital gown showing his bruised arms and legs.
But he was breathing,
Still breathing.

He opened his eyes an inch as I sat next to his bed.

"Cook, I'm here, you're gonna be alright"

"Of course I'm gonna be alright I'm fucking Cookie, ain't I Eff"
he chuckled to me and I smiled back.

"They said they would discharge me in a couple of days, no major injury"

"That's really great Cook"

"Effy"

"Yes"

"You killed him, didn't you?"

"Yes I think I did"

"Why did you have my gun anyway?"

"It doesn't matter now Cook, because I'm here"

"Okay Eff"

"I'm sorry you had to do what you did Eff"

"I'm not, he deserved it and I wasn't going to leave you there to die"

"Well then, thank you again"

I smiled in reply and took his hand.

"We are gonna be alright Cook"

"I hope so"
My mobile rang and I popped outside to answer it.

"Effy?" It was my older brother, Tony.

"Tony, hello"

"You doing alright?"

"Yes Tony just great, and how are you and Michelle?"

"Great actually"

"Well I'm glad" I answered, life was so simple for him and Michelle, they were finally in a good place, both in love, so easy, nothing to worry about. But I loved my brother, so much, he was always there for me and I for him and I couldn't shatter his happiness.

"Me too, so how are you getting on in your new place?"

I swallowed , "I'm getting on just fine, me and Cook have been living it up in our apartment"

"That's great Effy, look, I have to go, I was just checking up on you"

"Okay Tony goodbye"

"You can call you know, anytime" he replied. 

I squeezed my eyes shut and let out a breath. Part of me was ready to break down, to tell him everything, but it wasn't fair, he'd dealt with enough.

"I know" I replied weakly.

"Okay, bye Eff" I shut my phone and put it back in my pocket when I felt something else in my pocket. The gun, it was still there. I'd come straight to the hospital with Cook and slept here completely forgetting about it.

I left the hospital headed straight for the city lake. If I threw the gun in the lake, it would no longer have my fingerprints on it and I could get rid of my thoughts that came with it.

I checked to see if anyone was watching before chucking the gun in. I held my breath until I heard it plop into the water and sink to the bottom. I paused for a few seconds breathing in the relief before deciding to head back. I turned my head away from the lake and gasped at what I saw.

Not again. His face, in the distance, walking along.
Freddie. The image of Freddie was still haunting my mind and I couldn't stop it, I kept blinking but the face remained.

I ran all the way home, not stopping for a second and locked the doors. I ran myself a bath and pulled the curtains. I sat, immersed in the water, scrubbing at my skin until it was raw. I climbed out of the bath and grabbed a towel to dry off, before getting changed into a black t-shirt and jeans.

I thought I'd gotten over Freddie, months ago but now I couldn't seem to shake him off my mind. Freddie was gone, and I had faced that, dealt with it, 
Hadn't I?

Once again I was stuck with nothing to do. I had gone out to kill myself last night but ended up saving someone, I realised now that I couldn't leave Cook, he needed me and I was gonna be there for him no matter what, I had to survive this.

I decided to go for a walk, I grabbed my shoes, laced them up and grabbed a spliff before walking out of the house.

When I stepped out of the house, my phone rang.  The number was unrecognised, I paused against the wall and I took a drag of my spliff before answering.

"Hello?" I started.

"Hello who is this?" Oh no, now his voice, I could hear his voice now, I was imagining Freddie's voice, and it wouldn't go away.

His voice almost made my heart break just a little bit more but I knew it couldn't be him, just my mind always playing.
Freddie was dead.

"Stop it" I screamed down the phone as loudly as I could. I shakily cut off the phone and threw it on the floor.

I decided I couldn't go for a walk and headed straight back inside after stomping out my spliff on the pavement, everything was becoming too much and I had to do whatever I could to avoid my mind.

At 10:00pm I climbed into bed, trying desperately to avoid the thoughts of Cook lying there in that hospital bed. Once again, my fault, everything seemed to come back to me. I couldn't seem to do anything right.

I switched off the bedside lamp and forced myself to sleep.

I woke up to the sound of a distant car alarm. I grabbed my phone off the side to read the time. Shit, I must have been tired, it was already late afternoon. Waking up alone without Cook was harder than expected. I jumped out of bed and decided to go for a run. I grabbed my earphones, laced up my trainers and left the house quietly.

I got back at around 4pm and decided to grab some groceries for when Cook came home. I grabbed my keys, some money and exited the house quickly.

I was walking down a sidestreet almost home when I felt a hard,
Cold object pressed into my back.

I knew straight away, that it was the familiar feel of a gun and I had no protection.

"So we meet again Effy Stonem"