depression is my best friend (ON HOLD)

James

"Hey sis." James chuckles opening his arms up for a hug which I gladly except, I take a running leap and jump into his arms
"I-i thought you weren't back for another five years?" I stutter as fresh tears stream down my face
"I was injured so I was shipped back home permantly straight away." James says wiping my tears away before putting me down
"Channing who is that?" Donnie asks as I pick him up
"That is your older brother James." I laugh, Donnie lunges towards James and wraps his legs around his waist
"Why haven't seen you then if you're my brother?" Donnie questions
"Well Donnie last time I saw you you were just a toddler."
"Oh do you wanna play with me and my trucks."
"Of course little dude but how about after dinner." James smiles "so Channing who are your friends?" He asks
"Aw come on James you really don't remember me I basically lived here when I was younger." Toby laughs
"Holy shit Toby my man you've gotten tall dude." James laughs bringing him into a bro hug "well then who is this lovely lady?" James flirts
"That is skye and she is off limits buddy" I say
"Aww why?" James whines
"Because your 25 and she's tobys girlfriend." I explain
"Oh well shit. No hard feelings man." James says trying to hide his embarrassment
"Let's just go eat dinner okay people." Mum calls out from the dining room. We all walk into the room and sit and the large wood table. Every one starts eating while I just stare at my food
"Channing. Eat." Mum warns, I groan before picking up my fork. We eat in a comfortable silence until James has to ruin it and ask the worst question possible
"Channing what's on your arm?"
"Oh um n-nothing" I whisper bringing my arms to my sides
"So Channing do you remember what time your appointment is tomorrow?" Mum says changing the topic
"Mother tomorrow is the 17th if didn't remember I spend that whole say at our special spot so I am not going tomorrow" I state
"Channing this is not up for discussion you are going whether you like it or not."
"Fucking hell why does everyone save me why can't you just let me die!" I yell running up to the bathroom. Slamming the door shut I lock it and bend down to the toilet sticking two fingers down my throat I purge everything I have eaten until nothing will come up, crawling over to the cupboard I grab my hidden razor and slice at my stomach seeing as there is no room on my arms. Hearing my phone but I see I have a Facebook message opening it up I see a picture of when I was found in the basement of Tristan carrying my blood covered body a message underneath it look at what I found slut guess what picture is going to randomly show up in the assembly when you come back to school oh this will be too fucking funny bye bitch. Looking up at the name I see it was sent from none other than Nia Davids. I'm about to bring the razor to my skin again when the door makes a hideous snapping before falling to the ground, quickly I pull my shirt down and wipe my eyes
"Channing you tried to kill yourself?" James says with hurt filled eyes.

*James P.O.V*
As Channing runs up stairs I look at mum "what the fuck just happened?" I growl
"4 days ago Channing tried to kill herself and now every Wednesday she has therapy but tomorrow is lewis's anniversary which I usually let her do what she wants but now she needs to get better" mum says
"Wait why is she sad about Lewis I thought the loved each other" I ask dumbfounded
"James. Lewis passed away two years ago tomorrow." Mum says patting my shoulder
"Does anyone know where Channing ran" mum asks
"The bathroom" Donnie says
"Fuck." Mum groans
"Why fuck" I question
"Channing is depressed anorexic and bulimic and she tried to kill herself but slitting her wrists." Mum yells. Running up to the bathroom I bang on the door until I hear a snapping sound and the crashes to the tiled floor, in the corner I see Channing wiping her puffy eyes
"Channing you tried to kill yourself." I say with my voice full of hurt. I see her body stiffen as she turns her head away from me.
"I-i w-want t-to b-be w-with l-lewis." She stutters
"Channing I know you miss him but he wouldn't want to be with you because of this. I understand how you feel
"No you don't you have no fucking clue how I feel you haven't had the love of your life ripped away from you and having to deal the fact that you could of saved them you have no fucking clue how it feels okay James. " she growls
"Yes I do Channing in the first year of training we were doing a drill where we were partnered up and I was put with lieutenant Caleb Young and when i first saw him I wanted to jump him right then and there."
"Ew what the fuck why would you tell me that and also your gay!" She squeals.
"No I'm pansexual. You remember my best friend Charlie when I was like 16"
"Yeah." She says
"Boy friend. Now back on to my story he was so hot so when we when alone in the tank sheds I kissed him at first he didn't return the kids but then we started making out. So for the next two years of training we secretly dated then when I turned 21 we were both shipped of to Afghanistan. It was all good then one night we were invaded by rebel troops and we were bombed once they left I searched for Caleb and I couldn't find him so I went over to where they were placing the soldiers who passed away and i saw two Sargeants carrying Caleb. I broke down and was unable to do my duty for 3 months so I became one of the army nurses." James shakes as he comes to the end of this story. I pull him into a hug and we sit on the bathroom floor crying and hugging for the rest of the night.

"Channing we need to go to bed." I say picking her up bridal style and carrying up to her room, laying her on the bed I begin walking towards the door
"Don't leave me I can't deal with the nightmares by my self." She mumbles. I walk back over and hop into her bed pulling her close before drifting off into a dreamless sleep.