depression is my best friend (ON HOLD)

changing pt 2

Getting back home I jump out of the car and rush upstairs, I'm almost at the top when I trip expecting to land face first on the wooden floor but a pair of muscular arms grab me just in time, looking up I see James holding me
"So is see you're still a huge clutz Channing?" He laughs
"Yep now I'm going to the mall with Zane and I'm going to go change to you want to come with us?" I smile
"Okay you go change and I'll wait down stairs with Zane" he says lifting me to the top of the stairs and walking down to meet Zane. Running down the hallway to my room I slam the door and pick out a cute outfit (picture of outfit on side) grabbing the clothes I carry them towards the bathroom and start on my make up. In the end I have a simple smokey eye winged eye liner and pale rose gold lipstick, getting dressed I walk down stairs and meet the boys.
"Okay let's go" I yell walking to the door
"Fucking hell channing that took you like an hour." James smiles messing up my hair "holy shit your finally five foot seven."
"Yeah these are five inch heels." I say pointing to my black boots. We walk out to the car and I get it the back seat while James sits in the passenger seat and Zane drives. We begin to drive and James puts on some music I realize the song straight away and tears start to roll down my face, I haven't listened to this song since lewiss funeral he asks me to make sure it was played in his suicide note.
Long ago
just like a hearse you die to get in again
We are so far from you
"Turn it off!" I scream covering my ears. James quickly turns it off and shifts in his seat to look at me
"Channing what's wrong?" James asks
"I can't listen to that song anymore I just can't." I whisper trying to stop the tears. We sit in silence until we arrive at the mall. Getting out of the car i tie my flannel around my waist and follow the boys inside. "Why can't I wear my flannel?" I groan playing with my nails
"Mum and the doctor said no. It's summer anyway so quit complaining." James says
"But the stitches look hideous" I complain beginning to throw a tantrum
"Channing I swear to fucking god I will throw you over my shoulder and carry you through the mall." James turns around giving me a warning, glaring at him I stomp my foot and fold my arms.
"You have to catch me then" I squeal running towards the mall, hearing James and zanes pounding foot steps getting closer I shriek in laughter as I get to the mall door. Running into the first store I look through the racks hiding from the boys. As I look through some cute tops I feel hands snake around my waist
"Caught you" James whispers in my ear as he carries me out of the store
"James Michelle Bennet put me down this instant I can walk on my own two feet you ass!" I scream wiggling his arms. I fall to the ground and land on my arse, realizing he dropped me I look up at Zane putting my hand out and giving him a pleading look
"Please help me up" I say in a little kid voice as I give him puppy dog eyes.reluctantly we strides of grabbing my hands and pulling me to my feet
"Thank you Zane. See James someone is nice to me." I state "come on let's so get some food"

*James P.O.V*
Stopping what I'm doing I thy to think about what channing said
"Wait what?" I say dumbfounded that is something channing has never said, she's anorexic and bulimic she cried last time mum forced her to eat
"I am hungry let's go get food." She says each word slowly like I'm dumb. I give Zane a look of confusion and get the same one back, shrugging we follow channing to the food court "okay what to you two want" she smiles
"Um channing are you okay?" Zane asks
"I'm fantastic, therapy really helped this morning and I actually feel really happiness" she beams taking our hands and dragging us towards nandos "I hope you guys are all good with nandos because we aren't going anywhere else." She grins. We go to a both and sit down soon later a waiter comes over
"Hey I'm Charlie I will be your waiter today can I get to any drinks?" He asks in a bored tone looking us from his note book a stunned expression crosses his face "J-James?" He whispers "is it really you" looking at him I realize it was my ex Charlie.

flashback

Walking over to charlies house I have the worst feeling in my shomach, I have to tell the love of my life I'm going to be shipped out to the training facility in France and won't be back for ten years. Realizing I'm at his house I knock on the door a few seconds later his twin sister Melanie opens the door
"Hey James charlies up in his room. Hey are you okay you don't look to good?" She says with a worried expression
"I need to tell Charlie some bad news" I mutter walking up to his room. Knocking on his door he yells come on from the other side
"Well hello the best boyfriend ever what ate you doing here this early I thought you were coming over later" he purrs well leaving small kisses all over my face
"Charlie I need to tell you something and I'm not sure how you'll take it" I say looking at the ground
"What's wrong baby?" He says stroking my face
"I got a call from the army and in a week I'm being shipped out for ten years." I mumble
"What! You said thee was no chance of getting shipped out because you have your mum and sibling to look after." He shouts pain and anger evident in his voice
"I know I didn't think I would either but I did and I want to spend the rest of my time here with you." I plead
"No! I love you we can't do this knowing it's just going to end in a week so I'll make things easier, I love you so much James but we need to break up because I can't wait ten years for you" he says giving me one last kiss. I walk away leaving him to become a memory.

End of flashback

"Yeah Charlie it's me." I smile stand in up to give him a hug
"You said ten years it's only been five what happened?" He asks embracing myou hug
"I was injured then sent home imedeatly, I got back yesterday"
"I missed you james" Charlie whispers
"I missed you too"
"Did you get my letters?" He asks looking up at me while pushing up his glasses
"I even kept them all" I grin at how adorable he is "Charlie I still love you maybe we could hang out or something.
"You know how I said I couldn't wait ten years for you well I could wait five so let's skip the hanging out and go back to where we left off" he says in a husky voice before grabbing my shoulders and placing a soft but passionate kiss on my lips.

*channings P.O.V*

Me and Zane sat quietly while James and Charlie talked the all of a sudden the two are making out in front of us, awkwardly coughing the two turn there attention towards us
"Um hello boy kissing my brother I'm channing" I wave knowing very well you can see my cuts but I don't care I'm going to get better. Looking at him I see he's giving me a look of sympathy "stop the sympathy look mate I caused them myself okay" looking down he starts to laugh
"Channing I see your still the hard head you were then?" He asks
"It never stopped Charlie" I grin
"Channing with cuts that deep you could've died?" He whispers
"Yeah I was in hospital for four days but I'm getting better and how would you know ?" I ask curious
"I used to cut like that before I met james. He was my saviour" charge smileso tightening his grip of James side "so is this boy your saviour channing?"
"This is my friend zane" I smile "now boys I want to eat okay so stop the reunion so we can eat faster then go shopping before picking up Donnie." I groan. The boys sit down and we all order food , about twenty minutes later we're down and I'm rushing out of nandos
"Let me guess channing you want to go to hot topic" James asks smugly
"No I'm reinventing myself so top shop here we come" I yell with laughter.

Looking around the whole mall I take a look at my phone and see its 2:45
"Shit we have fifteen minutes to get to donnies school I yell at the boys. We all rush to the car and throw our bas in the boot, taking the detour we get to Donnies school at 2:55
"Okay let's go inside and get Donnie a bit early." I state, getting out of the car the boys follow me into the building I stop in front of a brightly colored door and knock I hear the teacher yell come and I push the door open and walking it
"Hey miss Reynolds I'm here to pick up Donnie" I smile at my old teacher
"Channing I haven't seen you in a while where have you been?" She asks giving me a grin
"In hospital miss" I sigh, I still love miss Reynolds she was the teacher I could tell anything
"Why sweetie." I asks concerned
"I'd rather not say in front of the children" I mutter "Donnie come on we have to go home" I say waving to him , he looks confused as he stands up
"Channing you look different." He says touching my face as I'm bent over
"I know I got my hair cut and dyed."
"No that's not it you look happy and not the happy you had around me and mum a real happy. It makes you look beautiful" he squeals giving me a hug
"Thank you Donnie now come on let's go home"
"Okay I'll grab my bag" he says rushing off
Channing can I talk to you" miss Reynolds calls. I walk up the front to her and stand waiting for her to speak
"Channing why were you in hospital?" She asks firmly, instead of saying anything I just put my wrists in front of me "oh sweetie"
"I'm getting better though miss" I smile
"I'm sure you are channing" she laughs giving me a hug
"Channing can we gooooooooo" Donnie groans making James and zane burst out in laughter
"Oh and who are these to gentlemen
"The tall one in the marine shirt is my brother James and the other one is my friend zane" I state
"Hello boys" miss Reynolds smiles , the boys smile and wave in response
"Okay well we should be getting home. It was great to see you miss" I smile taking donnies hand and walking out of the room
"You too channing" miss Reynolds call out.