depression is my best friend (ON HOLD)

I wanna get better

"Mum" I yell upstairs as I sit at the breakfast bar finishing off my dinner
"Yes honey?" She asks giving me a worried look
"Can I go to school tomorrow being at home is boring" I plead, mum has a concerned look on her face
"I'm not sure that's a good idea channing" she mumbles refusing to look me in the eye
"Please mum I promise if anything bad happens I will ring you, it's been a week of school I've missed out on Im missing out on so much time for my art project." I state trying to convince her
"Fine but I'm calling the school and telling them you will have James take you to all of your classes." She utters
"Thank you mama bear I love you" I scream pulling her into a hug
"I love you too bubaloo" mum walks upstairs and I follow going into my room. I begin to put away the clothes from my shopping spree a few hours ago and pick an outfit for tomorrow, once I have picked the perfect outfit I get ready for bed. Walking into the bathroom I brush my hair brush my teeth and rub ointment onto my cuts to help them heal quickly I put a thin bandage over each arm and go to bed.

*next morning*
I wake up to my alarm with a smile on my face, getting out of my comfy position I stride towards the bathroom. Finishing my morning cleaning routine I begin on my make up in the end I have a natural look with winged eyeliner and dark nude lipstick. With my towel still around me I wonder back to my room and begin to get dressed (outfit on side). Fifteen minutes later I walk down stairs with my packed bag, in the kitchen I see James eating some cereal, he is wearing a white NASA t-shirt, dark jeans and some gray vans
"Hey shorty" he hollers giving me a small wave
"Hello James Madison Bennett" I smirk grabbing an apple
"Low blow sister you know we don't speak of my middle name." He glares
"Oh sorry must of gone over my head seeing as I'm so short." I giggle
"Well played sister, we'll played. Come on we need to go to school." He says tossing his bowl in the sink and grabbing his keys off the window sill. We begin our drive to school when the bleachers comes on the radio
"Oh I love this song" I squeal turning it up and singing along

*Play song now*

We arrive at school and get out of the car
"Channing mum said we need to go to the office first to get a visitor slip thing for me." James utters as he locks the car door, I begin to walk towards the office with skye runs towards me
"CHANNING YOU'RE BACK" she screams so everyone can hear. Bringing me into a bear hug she screams again into my chest.
"Skye you're going to break me in half" I groan trying to get her off me.
"Oh sorry Hun but yay your back come on lets go see zane and Toby" she squeals dragging me along. Looking behind me I see James laughing then begin to jog trying to catch up to Skye sprinting along as she drags me.
"Channing!" Toby and zane scream running up to give me a hug, the two boys back away and I feel a light smack on the back of my head
"What the fuck was that for" I groan rubbing the back of my head while glaring at Toby
"God you're a fucking idiot channing. Don't you ever try to do that again, you can't leave me here with Skye. Don't ever try to kill yourself again I'm serious" Toby uttered pulling me into a death grip of a hug
"Okay Toby I will try not to but at promise anything" I said whispering the last part, looking down at my feet I then realise I haven't taken my bandage off yet
"Shit" I mumble
"Channing. What is it are you okay?" James asks worryingly
"I forgot take my bandages off this morning and I didn't bring a jacket" I mumble looking at my feet

*James POV*

The way she mumbled trying to hide her arms broke my heart, gently I lifted her chin so we had eye contact
"Channing don't be embarrassed by your cuts and scars they make you who you are as show just how strong you are and if anyone tries to be a dick just remember I'm a commander sergeant major in the army and I can fuck them up" she laughs at that and gives me a soft punch in the shoulder
"No hurting people James Madison Bennett" she glares with a smirk on her face. Alright that's it, I one swift movement I lift her over my shoulder and carry her into school, we get weird looks but I think it's more the fact there is a six foot seven man carrying a eighteen year old girl over his shoulder
"James put me down!" She squeals banging her small weak fists into my lower back "your shoulder is so bony!"
"No channing that is your ribs I'm all muscle" I say with a sad laugh, I can't believe she starved herself she's just skin and bone now "are you going to stop saying my middle name channing?" I chuckle
" if it mean you put me down then yes" She giggles wriggling around trying to get out of my grip on her waist. All of a sudden I drop her, she squeals as she lands on her ass in the middle of the corridors can't help but to crack a smile as I help her up.
"Hey channing." Channing stiffens at the sound of that voice I turn to see none other than Tristan fucking Hared.
"Channing why is that little shit talking to you I'm gonna fucking kill him" I seeth striding up to Tristan, I tower over him and he seems to cower back for a second until his cocky attitude comes back and he stands there with arms folded and a smirk
"Well fuck it looks like the school is infested with giants" Tristan smirks, this kid fucking pisses me off and her needs to be taught a lesson I don't even care that I'm probably seven years older than him
"Listen here pretty boy" I seeth grabbing him collar and pulling him towards me "you might think your all that and I don't give a shit but if you ever touch talk to or come near my sister without her consent I will fucking kill you and just thought I'd let you know I'm trained to kill" I whisper before dropping him back down, he looks petrified and goes off running before I can touch him. I looks back at channing to see her laughing her ass off, it so good to see channing with a real smile
"Channing you need to take your bandages off" I say grabbing her hand and taking her towards the nurses office, I wonder if they still have the same nurses as when I was here. Pushing open the door I lead channing inside and see the familiar face of nurse Libby she would have to be about thirty with frizzy red hair pulled into a messy bun and icy blue eyes
"Hey nurse Libby can you help me with my bandages" Channing says showing Libby her bandaged up arms
"Of course channing I'm gonna take a guess and say same reason as all the other times" Libby says giving her a knowing look
"Yeah" Channing mumbles giving me a sad smile
"Well channing who is this handsome young man you have with you he looks to old to be in high school" she laughs winking at channing. I just find that rude I don't look old I'm just really tall and buff but that's from my job and I have a limp but that's coz my hip is still recovering after being shattered about three months ago
"Aw nurse libby you dont remember me coz I remember when you had to put me on laughing gas so you could re-break my foot to put it back in place during a football game" I smile "I believe I said to you I challenge you to a Pokemon battle pretty wizard and then you broke my foot"
"Well well well James Bennett how could I not guess you too were related. Well James what have you been doing with your life after high school?" Libby asks as she changes channing bandages
"Well for the last five years I've been in Afghanistan serving I the US Army as commander sergeant major Bennett." I smile
"Well what brings you back?"
"Permanent leave after a grenade shattered my pelvis so now I'm all metal down there" I laugh tapping my hip
"Well channing there you go now here's a late slip so off o class you go and James you take care I hope to not see you in here again" Libby chuckles handing channing the late slip.

Me and channing begin walking to her first class.
"Hey channing I'm really glad you didn't um die" I mumble as we walk
"Yeah I'm glad too." She smiles. We continue walking in a comfortable silence. Stopping at the art department channing pushes on the solid oak door, the class is engulfed in silence as they look to see who it is.

*Channings POV*

"Ah channing I see you are finally back we have been told what happened and if you need to step out of class at anytime just tell me" Mrs Quinn smiles."Channing who is this young man with you?" She asks looking up at James.
"This is my brother James he's meant to be looking after me for the next few weeks" I smile as he puts a hand on my shoulder.
"Oh my fucking lord your Kellin Quinn's wife!" James stutters out staring wide eyed at Mrs Quinn.
"Last time I checked" she laughs "and James I don't care if your no longer in high school no swearing in my class room" she says trying to act serious even though that is complete bullshit she constantly swears
"That's bullshit katelynne" travis, my only friend in this class, yells from the back
"Oi little shit shut it" Mrs Quinn snaps with a wide grin on her face "okay enough playing about back to work everyone, channing go grab your folder and find yourself a seat" I walk to the back of the class and grab the chair beside travis.
"Sup homo" travis laughs
"Sup slut" I laugh back giving him a light punch on the shoulder. Travis has a slight quiff and nerd glasses, he stands up at his 6ft height to give me a hug
"So where the fuck have you been you left me alone in this shitty class" he whispers
"I fucking heard that travis" Mrs Quinn yells back at us
"Sorry" I smirk
"It's all good I'm just glad your okay" travis says giving me a sad smile, throwing an arm around me he brings glitter out of nowhere blowing it all in my hair
"What the fuck! Why the fuck do you have glitter?" I squeal pushing his laughing figure away
"I'm a drama student I always have glitter" he smirks
"I fucking hate you. You're not a fairy gay mother you do not need glitter. I gonna go to my locker and brush this out" I state strutting away from travis "miss I need a hallpass" I say to Mrs Quinn, she looks up at my glitter covered body
"Travis happened didn't it" she asks writing out a hall pass
"Yup my fairy gay mother granted me an unwanted wish" I groan. Mrs Quinn hands me the pass and I stride out of class heading towards my locker. Turning the corner I see Nia and a few other girls running in the opposite direction, jogging up to my locker all I see is spray paint and pictures of my attempt glued on looking closer the spray paint is words. Whore, slut, bitch, fat, attention seeker, hoe, fuck toy, cry baby. I I do the only thing I think of scream and cry my mind going into a full blow panic attack.