Someone Hit the Mute Button

Chapter Eight- (Un)Happy Birthday

Chapter Seven- (Un)Happy Birthday

     The next few weeks quite literally flew by. It seemed as if there was nothing in the world that could have slowed it down, either. Before anyone knew it, January had come and gone, and it was nearly Valentine's Day. Dustin, Eli, and Gwen had been around, and I had been pulled out of school. Mom enrolled me in some online school until she was convinced that my eating habits had improved.

     I had been acting, as well as eating, in a pretty normal manner those few weeks. I had a few relapses, but I honestly thought that things were getting better for me. Both in my head and otherwise.

     Now, it was early February (the seventh to be exact), and I found myself wanting to do nothing more than burrow into my blanket and stay there once more. I didn't want to talk to anyone, I didn't want to eat, I didn't want to move.

    If I was going to be honest, it wasn't like I wanted to die. More like...I just didn't want to keep living the way I was. I felt awful, actually. I felt like it wasn't fair to Alec, that I was happily living my life when his was so unjustly taken from him. It seemed as if there was no real reason why he was the one who had to go while I was allowed to stay. Everybody knew that he was the better twin- smarter, more outgoing, friendlier, more ambitious. He was the one who was going places, not me.

     And yet... I was here. And he was gone.

     Anyway, I had my good days and my bad days like always. The good days had been really, really, good, but the bad days had continued to get worse. I couldn't figure out why, either. I had been holding back my breakdowns until Dustin rolled into town, bringing Eli and Gwen into my life along wth him. Today just seemed to take the cake.

     I actually has a reason this time, though. Today, Feburary the 7th, was my birthday. Meaning, it was also Alec's birthday. My first birthday at home without my twin brother by my side. As with Christmas, I had still been in the hospital this time last year.

     So, yes, this day was going to be pure hell.

     I sat on the windowseat in my room, my knees to my chest, for hours at a time for weeks upon weeks after the accident. I seemed to be returning to my old ways.

     Anyway, there I sat with my tiny little Violet sitting in my lap, staring out the window with a heavy heart and cloudy thoughts. It seemed so wrong that a day such as this deserved to be so beautiful and sunny, without a cloud to be seen.  I realized, of course, that I was probably one of the only people inside sulking on a day like this, but I had stopped caring about an hour ago.

     I thought that I was so deep in my own world that I wasn't hearing anything other than what was going on in my head, but it turned out that it had really just been that quiet. It wasn't long before I heard voices carrying up from downstairs, probably in the kitchen.

     I recognized all the voices, but I was far too lazy to bother putting a name to them.

     "Today isn't a good day for this," A woman, probably my mother, warned.

     "There's been plenty of those recently, and we've always been here," A man's voice shot back. Dustin.

     "This is different, boys. You've only known her a few months. I'm her mother, I know her. She won't want company today."

     There was a long pause, and I vaguely wondered why everyone had suddenly stopped talking.

     "She wants to be alone," My mother said, as if she was trying to prove something.

     "You said that last time," He pressed. "Besides, I'm guessing we know her better than you think we do."

     "I don't doubt that, but I mean it this time. You should go home."