Asylum Romance (A Joker Story [Sequel to Turquoise punchline])

5: Messing with Arkham

“So you know why you are here again, right, Miss Montgomery?” 

I snickered at the Psychologist. “Because I love someone you don’t want me to?”

“The death of your family made you go insane.”

“Correction: The death of my family was presumed to make me go insane, then you locked me up, then I fell in love with the biggest madman ever. So in actuality, if I may say so in the most appropriate terms, ‘you done fucked up’.” I smiled charmingly at the woman who looked like she wanted to beat me with her clipboard. What a funny thought.

“No, we knew you wouldn’t be able to handle the death of–“

“Excuse you, I am smarter than you. So you didn’t ‘know’ anything. You assumed. Silly.”

Her eye twitched. “You are not smarter, if you were you would not be married to that madman!”

“Oh,” I breathed, shaking my head in disappointment. “I thought it was common knowledge that the brain and the heart do not work in sync, they work independently. What the heart wants is different from what the brain knows. Meaning that my heart wanted him, my brain knew it wasn’t wise. But look, I was happy, up until today. Because you do not know how to do your job.”

“I don’t know how to do my job?!” she howled in anger.

“Well, yes, you’re not supposed to scream at a patient. You are so bad at your job, might as well call you Harleen Quinzel. She was a better Psychologist than you, and look what she ended up doing. The complete opposite of her actual job. Instead of curing the crazy, she became crazy.” 

The woman calmed down, adjusted her glasses angrily, then sat down, obviously tense. She was still angry but she knew that showing her anger would prove that what I said was true. Stubborn with anger issues. Problems at home, judging by the way her ring finger looked. She wore no wedding ring, but she had obvious tan line around where the ring was supposed to be, slightly fading, hasn’t worn the ring in a while, it was sunny three months ago, probably when she got her tan, tan fading, meaning once the weather became gloomy so did her relationship.

I smiled. “How’s the husband? I am guessing you’re not working out anymore,”

“You can’t possibly assume–“

“I can by your ring finger. Now tell me, where did you get the idea that I was wrong? Just because your marriage does not work, does not mean I don’t know how men are. Joker and I aren’t always on the best terms but I always wear my ring, he always wears his. Don’t bag on a marriage you don’t understand. Hope you learned something today!” I leaned back in my chair and grinned at her. I was being a little rude, but I was tired of people assuming that Jack and I did not have a normal relationship. It was completely normal. Now, our jobs, that’s a whole different story.

She let out a deep breath and rubbed her temples. “Why do you love Joker?”

“I love him because we get each other on an emotional level that most relationships don’t, he’s cute, he’s fun, and he deals with me. Our arguments are short because we can be adults when we have to be. But most of the time we act like we are five years old.”

“So acting like four year olds is the key to a relationship?” she asked, obviously questioning and mocking me.

“Uh, five years old, get it right.”

“Okay, okay, no! I can’t handle this, not anymore, gosh,” she pinched her nose bridge and squeezed her eyes shut, turning from me, groaning. “Our session is done, guards take her away, please.” she rushed out angrily, I laughed and got up, walking with the two bulky men next to me.

I almost forgot how fun Arkham Asylum was!